Trust Me
by twilight mum69
Summary: Carlisle Cullen, meets a scared Edward.. a young man on the streets alone, during his shift on the suicide chat page he becomes driven to save Edward, but he too has demons will Edward end up saving Carlisle? Can a friendship become more?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: So I adopted this bunny from Janet Quinsey, thanks so much for allowing me to continue your idea.

What can I say, at times this may be hard to read, but please trust me :)

I own nothing…only the continuation of a great idea.

Thanks as usual to my beta texasbella who has the patience of a saint, and my pre reader Matt.

**CPOV**

_**Anyone there?**_

The words appear on my screen.

**Yes, I'm here. **

I type rapidly.

**Do you need to talk to someone****?**

I wait.

I've just gotten home from my shift in the ER at the hospital and logged into the forum site where I, along with many others, take chat sessions with suicidal or depressed people of all ages. I would like to say that I save everyone I chat with…but not all days go so perfectly.

_**I'm scared**_

I can see that this one is not too chatty.

**Of what?**

I wait again.

Sometimes people are bursting to talk, and with some, like this one is turning out to be, getting information from them is like pulling teeth.

_**I'm scared I'm going to hurt myself.**_

**Thank you for coming here first. Why do you want to hurt yourself?**

_**Nobody loves me.**_

Everyone says that. It's rarely true, but I have to assess the situation so I pick a couple of phrases from the manual to keep the conversation going.

The most important part of this job is to keep them talking.

**Why would you say that? Is someone hurting you?**

_**I don't have anyone to hurt me anymore.**_

Yep, like pulling teeth. I try again.

**Can you tell me more? Did someone leave you, break your heart? Girlfriend or boyfriend issues?**

_**I killed my dad and my mom kicked me out.**_

Whoa! Hold on; what? Calm down, Cullen, and ask clarifying questions.

**What do you mean you killed your dad? **

I type cautiously as my hand reaches for my phone just in case.

_**I told him I was gay and he had a heart attack and died. Now I should die.**_

Whew. See, clarifying questions. Now keep him talking.

**No, that isn't how this works.**

_**I killed him. My mother told me I did. If I was normal he wouldn't have died.**_

**You are normal.**

_**No, I am gay!**_

**Gay is normal for you. There is nothing wrong with being gay.**

_**How would you know?**_

**I'm gay.**

_**Ya right. Says some anonymous person behind a keyboard.**_

Now make a connection, but don't get too personal.

**My name is Carlisle. I am a 30 year old gay man and I had to come out to my parents once too.**

_**I don't believe you.**_

**Why should you?**

_**Sorry what?**_

**Why should you believe me? All I can say is that I remember feeling really alone and confused. I thought I would have a little support in my mother but I knew my dad would have issues with it. I put it off for as long as I could. Turns out I was right. My father beat the shit out of me and sent me out into the world with only the clothes on my back.**

_**And your mom?**_

**Well, she killed herself.**

…

**Are you still there? I'm sorry. I know that was a lot to say. **

…

**Hello? What is your name anyway?**

…

**You don't have to tell me. I would like to know what to call you. You can make one up if you like.**

_**...**_

_**Just call me Lost,**__** I'm sorry about your mom.**_

I was starting to worry I had lost him.

**It's okay. It was something I had to learn to come to terms with, that it wasn't anymore my fault than your dad's death is yours.**

Biting my lip, I shake away the guilt. How can I tell these people you can come to terms with things like this when I still suffer the nightmares?

_**Whatever.**_

**So erm…Lost****, do you have some place you can go tonight? Any friends you can stay with, or any other relatives?**

_**No. We're new here and I don't know anyone that well yet.**_

**What town are you in? I will try to find you a shelter.**

_**Port Angeles,**__**Washington.**_

I shuffle through my files trying to find him a shelter. I know it's going to be difficult in such a small town, maybe the nearest one will be Seattle.

I'm in luck as I type the address quickly

**Serenity House Shelter on Vine Street, do you know where that is?**

…

**Lost?**

…

Oh please don't let me have lost him. I tap my fingers nervously along the keys thinking of a lifeline I can throw out to him.

My knee bounces as the minutes tick by...

_**Hello, erm… are you still there?**_

Yes, he's back! I am fisting my hand to reduce the cramps of twelve hour days as I type furiously.

**I'm glad your back, I thought you had gone somewhere.**

_**I have nowhere to go, I'm so scared.**_

**Please don't be scared, talk to me, you can talk to me all night… I don't mind.**

_**So what, you sit there all day waiting to talk to freaks like me?**_

**You're not a freak, and no, I do this part time.**

_**Oh**_

**I'm a doctor.**

I type, rubbing the back of my aching neck.

_**Shrink?**_

I chuckle as I knew he would think that.

**No.** I clarify.

I look at my watch and it's nearly 9pm, I stretch popping my joints, waiting.

_**I…erm…I…**_

**What is it Lost? You can tell me anything, I won't judge you****.**

_**I cut myself**_

I sigh, rubbing my face with the heels of my hands.

**How long?**

_**?**_

**How long have you been cutting yourself?**

_**I'm scared**_

**I know you are, please talk to me, talk to me about anything.**

I'm afraid I'm pushing him, asking too many leading questions.

**What's your favourite flavour of Ice cream?**

_**Sorry?**_

_**Ice cream…what flavour?**_

**Erm...Mint chocolate chip**

I smile inwardly, mine too.

_**I have to go, its closing...**_

I sit bolt upright in my chair, closing? What's closing?

**Closing?**

…

**Lost?**

…

**Lost, please, where are you, what's closing?**

…

"Dammit!" I yell, slamming my fist onto my desk.

I stand and begin to pace. 'Closing,' he said, what would be closing?

I turn to face my bookcase, it reaches from one end of my study to the other, and then the proverbial light comes on.

"Library!" I laugh in despair of my stupidity.

Of course, how stupid of me, if his mom had kicked him out, he'd be on the streets, he had used the library computers to talk to me.

I stalk over to the liquor cabinet pouring myself three fingers of scotch; I throw it back in one enjoying the burn in my throat.

_Dammit Carlisle, why didn't you get him to a shelter?_ my subconscious growled at me.

I lay my head back against the back of my leather chesterfield, my eyes becoming heavy…

"_Mmm" I smile as Ben nuzzles his nose into that sensitive spot behind my ear._

"_You like that don't you C?"_

_I nod, turning my head, my lips searching for his. When they find their mate, my body explodes with a myriad of emotions as I writhe underneath him, circling my hips, rubbing my clothed erection against his._

"_Oh fuck, Carlisle," he whimpers as his hands find my zipper._

_The cold stark air makes me shudder as it twines its icy fingers around my overheated and now exposed cock._

_I mirror his actions, delving into his jeans and releasing him._

_I tense for a moment, this is the farthest the two of us have ever gone, and I'm unsure._

_He senses my feelings and begins to kiss me along my jawline._

"_It's fine Carlisle, don't worry, Seth said he'll text me when he sees your parent's __car."_

_I relax as he takes both our cocks into his hand and begins to stroke them slowly._

"_Ungh" is the only coherent thing my brain can relay. I'm lost in this moment. So lost I don't hear the door, what I do hear is the scream._

"_Carlisle Xavier Cullen, what is the meaning of this?"_

_The room slows down almost to a standstill as I see my father grabbing Ben's shirt and yanking him away from my bed._

_Then his eyes widen, he obviously hadn't had a clear view from the doorway._

"_You dirty little bastard!" he yells, throwing Ben onto the floor. I shift, but his eyes are on me, his eyes telling me to stay the fuck silent, to not move._

_So I don't move, I sit there and watch my father drag Ben out of my room, the front door opens then slams shut._

_My heart is matching his oncoming footsteps beat for beat, he stands in the doorway again, nostrils flared, fists balled at his sides._

_His slams my door and clicks the lock._

_He stalks towards me raising his fist..._

My eyes fly open and I'm halfway off the sofa, my knees on the hard wooden floor, it takes me a moment to gather my equilibrium.

I pull myself up and wipe my face, sweat mixed with tears.

I rub my face. That is one of the worst nightmares I have had in a while.

Looking at my watch, I see its just past two a.m.

I stumble to my cabinet again, not bothering with the glass this time, I swig the bitter liquor.

Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I decide to log off of my computer.

The stark words of tonight's conversation glare at me:

_**I'm scared.**_

_**Nobody loves me.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**OH MY GOD blown away with the reviews for chapter 1.**_

_**As ever I'd like to thank texasbella for being my beta.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing **_

**EPOV**

"Son we're closing, I'm sorry you'll have to leave."

I nodded, looking at the words on the screen. I typed my final sentence of the night.

_**I have to go it's closing...**_

**Closing?**

Came the quick reply as I pulled my hoodie out of my bag.

**Lost?**

The librarian cocked her head, smiling as she beckoned me with a finger.

"We're open again at nine tomorrow, dear," she smiled, patting my shoulder. "Better bundle up warm till you get home."

I smiled at her kind gesture; she wasn't to know I had nowhere to go.

"Thanks," I smiled, pulling my hood up.

Securing my duffel bag on my back, I rummaged through my pockets for what little money I had left, counting out the change quickly as my fingers numbed in the cold air.

"$37.16," I whispered, blowing into my free hand.

I had, perhaps, enough for another few days. I had rationed myself after my first splurge to two meals a day…breakfast and supper.

My stomach grumbled on cue, telling me it was time to eat. Dragging my feet to the nearest convenience store, I made my way towards the clearance aisle.

Picking up some bread, a jar of peanut butter and a can with no label, praying it wasn't pet food, I paid for my items and left.

Finding a place for the night was the easy part. Doorways weren't ideal as you were exposed to the elements as well as the sick people who prayed on the vulnerable. Also, what with me being a minor of sorts, I needed to stay away from the police.

I had found my hiding place the second night of my exile; it was under the play fort in the park.

People generally stayed away from the park at night, it wasn't safe…but I realised if I got there before dusk I was safe, hidden and invisible.

I knew which way to walk round the tree filled lanes of the park, how to avoid the park keeper and the drunks by crawling on all fours until I made my way into my refuge for the night.

The wind was howling, mocking me as I pulled my hoodie further round my ears.

My stomach grumbled again, showing its distaste for being ignored for the last 10 hours.

I opened the bread, took out two slices and tied the open end before placing it back inside my bag. The peanut butter spread easily with my Swiss army knife that dad had bought me for Christmas.

I took small bites, chewing them slowly, savouring each bite before finally swallowing it down.

I turned the can round in my hands. Maybe it was peaches? Some fruit would be awesome and I'd have a drink too.

But it would have to wait for breakfast.

The world was a scary place in the dark, especially for a 17 year old. I laid back on my bag for a pillow and closed my eyes, willing the wind to stop.

"_Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you both," I stuttered, playing with the hem of my shirt._

_My father looked up from his paper, nodded, folded it twice and placed it on the edge of the table._

_Mom smiled at me, putting down her book._

"_Edward?" he said, waiting for me to continue._

"_I…erm…well…"_

"_Edward dear, stand up straight," Mom chided._

_Pushing my hands into my pockets, I straightened my shoulders and took a cleansing breath._

"_Mom, Dad, I've thought about this, thought about how I was going to tell you, but…"_

"_Oh Edward," Mom interrupted, "You haven't gone and gotten that nice Swan girl __pregnant have you? Oh the shame. Edward Senior, can you imagine?"_

_I shook my head. "What? No!"_

"_Hell mom, I'm not even going out with her!" I yelled._

"_Language, Edward!"_

"_Sorry dad," I sighed, reigning in my anger._

"_What is it then, Edward?"_

_I inhaled then exhaled a long cleansing breath, my mouth suddenly dry._

"_I'm gay," I whispered._

_I heard my mom squeak and run from the room into the kitchen._

"_Dad, say something…please..." The silence was deafening._

"_Get out," he spat, not looking up._

"_Wait, what?"_

"_I said get out, get out of my house."_

"_Dad, please, this doesn't change how I feel about you or mom," I pleaded._

_He slammed his hand down onto the table, making the plates and glasses chink._

"_I gave you everything," he hissed._

"_Dad…"_

_He glared at me, his icy blue eyes holding mine prisoner._

"_You are dead to me," he growled, standing to his full height._

_My hands balled at my sides. "If I walk out now, you will never see me again," I cussed._

_He raised his hand to slap me, but I caught it mid swipe._

"_You…do not get to hit me," I sobbed, furiously wiping the tears from my face with the back of my free hand._

_Turning on my heels, I ran from the room before I did or said something I would regret._

_Pacing in my room, packing clothes haphazardly into my duffel bag, I could hear my parent's raised voices… then came the scream._

_Grabbing my bag, I ran downstairs to find my mom leaning over my dad, he was slumped against the sofa, his hand on his chest._

"_Call 911!" mom screeched. Dad was a deathly grey colour._

_I called 911 and moved back into the living room, where my mom knelt sobbing._

"_Mom?"_

"_Get out," she sobbed. "You've killed him, get out!"_

_I didn't process what she had said, I froze._

_Mom stood and turned, the look on her face; disgust._

"_You deserve to die, you killed him, you brought those evil words into our home…you...fr..freak!" she spat._

"_Mom?" I sobbed as I heard the sirens getting closer._

"_Leave now, go and I won't tell the police it was you."_

_I ran, I ran and ran until my lungs were ready to explode, my chest burning as I sobbed uncontrollably. What had I done?_

I woke with a jolt, my skin sweaty and tears streaming down my face. Suddenly the sound of voices halted my cries.

"Dude grab his legs, keep him still," I heard the rough voice whisper shout.

Placing my hands over my ears, the sounds muted but didn't disappear. The sounds of a scuffle made me crawl further back into the fort.

Sometimes muggings occurred during the night.

Holding my hand over my mouth, I was now trying not to breathe. I knew I should have helped him out, especially since dad had sent me to boxing...to…man me up!

Out of nowhere, the putrid smell of piss seeped through the wooden slats as the liquid began dripping close to my feet.

There was a united intake of breath before a man laughed. "He's pissed himself, eww,"

he laughed and two other voices joined him. I heard the thud of their feet and the soft padding as they ran across the sand.

The cries of the young man permeated the air, suffocating me, forcing tears to stream down my face. They fell in relief that I wasn't discovered and in guilt for me not helping the poor kid.

After a while his crying quietened and he too left the park.

My hand trembled as I pulled up my right sleeve, exposing the pink criss cross scars. I needed a fix, a release. I needed to be numb.

Pulling my pocket knife back out, I flicked the blade open, blinking my eyes to move the moisture.

"I'm sorry dad," I sniffed. "Sorry momma," I whispered into the darkness, tugging my hood round and placing it between my teeth as I brought the blade to my arm. See, I was a coward… I couldn't even cut myself without crying out.

The knife was ice cold as it slid effortlessly along the pale skin of my arm, I screamed into my hood.

I don't know if I passed out or fell asleep but I woke to the sun peeking through the slats of my refuge.

Stretching my aching body, I looked at my watch to see that it was just after eight a.m. I knew I had to eat breakfast first, and then make my way back to the library.

I opened the can, praying it wasn't pet food. I smiled when the scent of strawberries filtered from the open can. Okay, they weren't fresh but they were sweet, and the juice was a welcome relief to my dry throat.

After I had my fill, I walked to the nearest garage to wash in the rest room. Running my hands through my unruly hair, I gazed at the broken boy in the cracked mirror. Deep, dark shadows framed the tired green eyes that looked back at me.

It was an unusually bright day, there was still a winter nip in the air, but the sun was out as I strolled, looking like I didn't have a care in the world, towards the library.

I sat in the same seat as yesterday, logged on to the computer, my hands poised over the keys...

Typing in the website, I waited…would he be on so early?

Would my ray of hope be waiting for me on the other side of the screen? I scratched the new scars on my arm absentmindedly.

Taking a deep breath I typed...

_**Anyone there?**_

_**X~oOo~X**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow overwhelmed by the amount of reviews on just 2 chapters**

**CPOV**

As usual I couldn't sleep. My dream had visibly shaken me and was still playing in the back of my mind.

Put that with the worry for Lost...

I pounded my pillow in with my fist many times as I sat bolt upright, sweaty and blubbering like a baby.

I needed sleep. It was my first day off in, hell, I couldn't remember and I'd be damned if I was spending it half comatose.

Rubbing my face, I glanced over at my clock where the red, angry numbers blinked at me: 7:00 a.m.

Might as well get up.

After taking care of my needs, I was dressed and having my coffee an hour later. I was sat in front of my computer screen, fingers poised, debating. I had a piece to write in the local medical paper about coping with PTSD, I chuckled. _How do you cope with PTSD_? Hell if I knew.

Bringing up Word, I began to write. I was about half way through my first paragraph when a ping broke my concentration.

Minimising my work, I found I had a message. Curious as to who it may be from, I opened the chat box.

_**Anyone there?**_

I stared at those two words, he had survived the night: thank God.

**Lost?**

…**.**

I rubbed my face, maybe this wasn't him, maybe he didn't make it.

_**Erm...yeah**_

Exhaling a breath I hadn't even realised I was holding, I began to dig a little deeper.

**Do you think you could tell me your real name today Lost?**

I waited. I didn't want to push but filling in the paperwork would be a lot easier with a real name.

_**Edward**_

I smiled; pleased he was beginning to trust me a little more, so I pushed that little bit more.

**Hi Edward, thank you for telling me your name...how old are you?**

Sitting back, I took a sip of my coffee and waited, these things were always a waiting game.

_**Why?**_

My brow furrowed at the answer not fitting the question.

**Why what, Edward?**

_**Why do you want to know my age, are you going to call the cops?**_

Cops? How old was this kid?

**No Edward, if you really must know I have to fill in boring ass paperwork for every person I talk to :)**

First time I have ever used a smiley, but I wanted him to know I was laughing.

_**Oh**_

I sighed, moving in another direction.

**I'm guessing you are using a library computer?**

_**Yeah**_

I pulled up Google maps and began looking for all the libraries with Wi Fi in Port Angeles. There were four libraries and only three had internet.

**Edward?**

_**Yeah**_

**Have you eaten today?**

_**Yes, I had a can of strawberries for my breakfast, just to get me through to the filet mignon I was saving for lunch.**_

I laughed, shaking my head, teenager!

Only a teenager could be that snarky.

**19?**

I hedged a guess.

_**Try again**_

**18?**

_**Try again**_

Jeez, how young was this kid? Rubbing my face with my hand, I typed in the next age, praying he was no younger than this.

**17?**

…**.**

I took his silence as a yes, this poor kid on his own at seventeen, I'm not surprised he was scared.

**Edward?**

_**Yes, Doc I'm 17**_

**Where did you sleep last night?**

_**The park**_

Shit, he slept in the park. That was dangerous, anything could have happened to him.

**Is that safe?**

_**I'm still here**_

I would get back to that later; right now I needed to know if he was still scared, if he was still having the same thoughts as the previous night.

**I'm glad you're still here.**

_**I'm not, a kid got mugged on the fort above me last night by some guys, he pissed himself and it ran through the wood near my feet, maybe I should have helped, maybe they'd have beaten me, save me the trouble of...**_

I shivered at the mental image he had just painted. Being alone, under what I assumed was a play fort, listening to that. I re read his answer, he was clever…very cryptic. What would they have saved him the trouble of doing? Killing himself?

**Edward, are you still thinking you should die, are you thinking of hurting yourself?**

_**Thinking?**_

I slammed my fists down onto my desk, I needed to reach this kid and soon.

**Edward, what did you do to yourself, you can tell me I promise not to judge.**

…

…

**Edward, please I want to help you.**

_**Why?**_

**Because you're lost and scared and you shouldn't feel like this, being gay isn't a crime, it's just who you are.**

_**I'm scared**_

**I know you are, please Edward, let me help you.**

_**Okay what do you want to know?**_

I stretched out my arms and my joints popped. Giving myself a mental pat on the back, I readied myself to dig even deeper.

**How long have you been on the streets Edward?**

_**3 days**_

**How have you been feeding yourself?**

_**Well I've not been stealing if that's what you think?**_

I shook my head, mentally chastising myself . I knew I had to be more careful with how I worded my questions.

**I didn't think that. I'm sorry Edward.**

_**S'okay I had some money saved up so I have been buying the spoilt stuff in convenience stores.**_

**How are you feeling today?**

_**Peachy!**_

I had to chuckle, it _was_ a bit of a stupid question. How would I have been at that age if my Uncle Alex hadn't taken me in?

**You said you had been thinking of hurting yourself, have you?**

…

**Please Edward, I want to help you.**

_**Why?**_

I sighed, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands, should I tell him?

Could I tell him?

If it got him off the streets, then yes, I could. I knew it was against the rules, taking in one of your clients, but I needed to know he was safe. I needed him to know that it was okay.

My fingers hovered over the keys, but before I could type out my offer, his chat sign went off.

"Fuck!" I shouted, swiping at the paperwork in front of me so it cascaded onto the floor. Grabbing my car keys and the list I had Googled of Port Angeles libraries, threw on my jacket and headed out.

It was mid-afternoon when I reached the first library. I knew nothing of Edward's appearance so I had to go with what I had, I asked the librarian if a teenage boy had come in to use the computers. She looked at me as though I were insane, showing me the line of computers , all taken up by teenagers both male and female.

I was beginning to think I was searching for a needle in a haystack, as I crossed the first library off my list.

As I pulled into the next one it was beginning to get dark and there was a bite to the wind.

Maybe he's been here like dozens of other teenage boys? I sighed as I made my way to the entrance.

"Excuse me young man?" a soft voice said, catching my arm.

"Yes?"

"I heard you are looking for a young man, about seventeen?"

"Yes Ma'am, I am, have you seen him?"

The elderly lady pursed her lips, she was mulling something over in her head.

"I might have," she said with a curt nod. "You're not out to hurt him, are you?"

"No Ma'am, I want to help him. Please, have you seen him?" I placed my hand softly in hers, "I need to find him."

She nodded. "There was a young'un here the other night, poor boy looked half starved."

"Did you catch his name?"

She shook her head, "All I can tell you is he was in here from opening till closing."

"Sounds like him." I smiled, "Can you remember what he looked like?"

She nodded. "Oh yes, he was a lovely looking young'un, lovely manners."

I had to laugh, she must be a grandma because it was something a grandma would notice.

"Anything else?"

"Well, he needs a bit of a haircut. What is it with youngsters these days that ya can't tell a boy from a girl?" She continued, "Girls have short hair, boys have long…" it was then that she realised she was rambling.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I do go on," she chuckled. "Let's see, he had the most unusual colour of hair. It reminded me of Autumn leaves, you know, when they bronze?"

"Yeah, I know," Autumn was my favourite season, walks in the park and trips up to my cabin.

"Oh, and his eyes, oh dear me," she mock fanned her face, "He had the most beautiful green eyes." Her face saddened, "They looked sad."

I couldn't help it, I picked her up and swung her round and she let out a giggle.

"Thank you. Thank you! You may have just saved a life." I knew it was him, I don't know how, I just did.

"Where is the nearest play park?"

She pointed me in the right direction before I gave her a kiss on the cheek and bid her goodnight.

I glanced at my watch to see that it was just past six. My stomach rumbled, so I decided to pick up some fast food, hoping I would be able to share it with Edward, if, no, _when_ I found him.

The wind was really biting tonight, making me pull my jacket farther around my neck as I walked towards the park. Noises of loitering teens and drunks filled the air, putting me on edge.

I could see the flag of a wooden fort to my left, behind some trees. My heart accelerated as I moved forwards, walking deeper into the park. I'm not surprised he's scared in here.

As I get closer to the fort, the unmistakable sound of sobbing is caught on the wind. I pick up speed then realise if I move too quickly, I'll startle him.

"Edward?" I whispered.

No answer...

"Edward?" I whispered a little louder not wanting to draw too much attention to myself.

I heard the rustle of material then the sound of a zipper, I try one last time.

"Lost?" I whispered.

Adjusting my eyes to the failing light, I see movement under the fort, a dark figure stands slowly.

"Lost?"

"Doc?" he answered with a sniff, and my heart soared. I took a tentative step towards him, he takes one back.

"Edward?"

"Doc?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, it's me."

"What are you doing here, how did you find me?" his voice is hoarse from crying.

"I came to get you."

"Get me?"

"Yeah, I want to take you away from this, take you somewhere you'll be safe."

Edward stepped forward and I could see a pair of frightened eyes.

"Trust me," I whispered, holding out a hand.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow so many reviews, thanks to my amazing beta texasbella for making my work readable..Is that even a word?**

**Well I am blown away by how many are sticking with me i was afraid of tackling a slash that still even at chapter 4 has had no Lemons.**

**EPOV**

**Lost?**

_**Erm...yeah**_

I couldn't believe my luck; I knew it was early, I was hoping to catch him before he went into work.

Thoughts of talking to him again today had kept me calm...before the mugging, that is.

**Do you think you could tell me your real name today Lost?**

He was asking more personal questions, making my hands shake as my fingers ghosted the keys. _Why did he want to know? Wasn't he supposed to just chat and say everything was fine, that things would work out blah blah blah blah …_

Shaking myself and mentally chastising myself, I knew the doc wasn't like that. He didn't tell me everything would be peachy. He seemed to have a connection with me.

_**Edward**_

There I did it; he knew my name and a wave of comfort fell over me. _Weird._

**Hi Edward, thank you for telling me your name...how old are you?**

_More questions..._

_**Why?**_

**Why what, Edward?**

_Why does he want to know my name…how old I am, is he going to turn me in...can I trust anyone?_

_**Why do you want to know my age, are you going to call the cops?**_

**No Edward, if you really must know, I have to fill in boring ass paperwork for every person I talk to :)**

_Haha, he used a smiley, and I'd bet my last $20 that's it's the first time. Do you really use a smiley on a suicide chat line?_ I laughed softly, thinking of an old man crouching over mountains of paperwork; _maybe I should give him a break_.

_**Oh**_

**I'm guessing you are using a library computer?**

_He was clever; he was piecing together parts I was unwilling to divulge._

_**Yeah**_

**Edward?**

_**Yeah**_

**Have you eaten today?**

_Okay, kind of a stupid question...what am I supposed to answer?_ Then my teenage humour kicked in.

_**Yes, I had a can of strawberries for my breakfast, just to get me through to the filet mignon I was saving for lunch.**_

**19?**

_Huh? Oh yes, he was clever, he's probably around teenagers a lot being a doc and he knows from my humour that I'm on the young side._

_**Try again**_

**18?**

_**Try again**_

_Is he going to start going all parental on me when he realizes just how old I am?_

**17?**

_Dammit...what do I say?_

**Edward?**

I sighed. _I might as well come clean, if he tries anything, I can just disappear._

_**Yes, Doc I'm 17**_

**Where did you sleep last night?**

_**The park**_

**Is that safe?**

_**I'm still here...**_I sighed again.

**I'm glad you're still here.**

_Why would he say that? He doesn't know me, I'm poison...I destroy life._

_**I'm not, a kid got mugged on the fort above me last night by some guys, he pissed himself and it ran through the wood near my feet, maybe I should have helped, maybe they'd have beaten me, save me the trouble of...**_

**Edward, are you still thinking you should die, are you thinking of hurting yourself?**

_**Thinking?**_

I looked down at the fresh scars. They had an angry red tinge to them that made them stand out from the older ones.

**Edward, what did you do to yourself? You can tell me, I promise not to judge.**

_I'm not ready to answer that, I have to keep something to myself, besides he will see me as a coward. Mom and Dad always said I could tell them anything and look where that got me_.

**Edward, please I want to help you.**

_**Why?**_

**Because you're lost and scared and you shouldn't feel like this, being gay isn't a crime, it's just who you are.**

_**I'm scared.**_

My hands were trembling now, and I could feel the moisture building up in my eyes. _I'm so scared, I don't want to go back to the park, I don't want to be alone but I know it's what I deserve…I'm poison._

**I know you are, please Edward, let me help you.**

His words sounded so sincere, lulling me into a false sense of security but at that moment it was what I need.

_**Okay what do you want to know?**_

**How long have you been on the streets Edward?**

_Okay, this is an easy one._

_**3 days**_

**How have you been feeding yourself?**

The hair on the back of my neck prickled_. He thinks I'm stealing food. I was brought up better than that._

_**Well I've not been stealing if that's what you think?**_

**I didn't think that. I'm sorry Edward.**

_**S'okay I had some money saved up so I have been buying the spoilt stuff in convenience stores.**_

**How are you feeling today?**

_Well if this isn't the dumbest question ever!_

_**Peachy!**_

**You said you had been thinking of hurting yourself, have you?**

_Not ready..._

**Please Edward, I want to help you.**

_**Why?**_

_What is it with him wanting to help me?_

_What's the point of accepting his help, only to be thrown away again or abandoned like a puppy after Christmas?_

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my anxiety in check. Rubbing my face with my hands, I was about to take a leap of faith...when I heard a commotion in the library entrance.

"Fuck," I whimpered as a sea of students swarmed towards the IT section, of all the libraries they had to come into this one.

I could see Tyler and his friend Jared walking towards me, my form tutor was talking to a group of giggling girls.

I logged off without another thought and disappeared behind the fiction section.

When I could hear only the dull sound of voices I slipped out. _What was I going to do with the rest of my day?_

I decided to sit and wait for the students to leave, their next lesson was in an hour and forty-five minutes, then I'd be able to go back in.

My stomach growled and although I'd just had the strawberries, I was hungry. Pulling out the rest of my bread, I noticed it was now beginning to mold.

I shrugged and plastered it with the last of my peanut butter which, too, had begun to spoil.

Taking small bites, I could feel my stomach heave as the smell of iron hit my senses; the peanut butter was definitely off. I lunged to the nearest bush and vomited, my strawberries making an appearance too, as I heaved until only bile was left.

Sobbing, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I needed a breath mint.

The convenience store was only a block away from the library. I sifted through the spoilt goods, once more filling my arms with more unlabelled cans. These would last me longer and not spoil, turning towards the cash counter, I froze.

"Hello, Mrs Cullen, how are you this fine day?" the cashier said to the woman in front of him.

Stood not five foot away from me was my Momma. _What the hell do I do?_

"Great, thank you for asking," my mom said jovially.

_Wait, what? It's only been three days since my father's death and she's fine?_

I took an intake of breath,she was about to turn when I dropped everything and made a run for it.

I didn't stop until I was back outside the library, my eyes were streaming and I was shaking as I entered my sanctuary, my class had now gone and I made my way to the computers.

_**Carlisle?**_

Seeing as we were now on first name basis, I typed in his, it's an unusual name.

**...**

_Where is he?_

_**Doc?**_

My heart was now pounding in my chest and I felt faint as it occurred to me that he'd probably gone to work.

**Hello?**

_Yes!_

_**Doc?**_

**Erm…no this is Alice, Carlisle has a day off today, can I help?**

_No, no, no…no one can help, I want to talk to him, to Carlisle._

_**No, I need him, I can't talk to anyone else.**_

I typed frantically; bile was beginning to rise again as my hands shook violently.

**Oh sweetie, you can talk to anyone, we are all here to help.**

I shook my head, chanting 'no' and a few people shushed me. I was going to throw up again.

I quickly logged off and dashed into the cool air, I was hungry and scared and I needed to get back to the park.

I have no idea how long it took me to get to my place, I don't remember one footstep I took.

I curled up into a ball, attempting to keep what little body heat I have in me. I was freezing yet my head felt as though it was on fire.

_Maybe I'm sick?_

_Maybe tonight my prayers will be answered?_

_Maybe tonight I'll die!_

"Edward?" I heard a faint male voice.

"Edward?"

_Shit, maybe it's the cops. The shop owner could have called them thinking I had stolen something._

I reached into my duffle bag and fumbled round for my Swiss army knife, I couldn't find it.

"Lost?"

I stilled. _Wait, what did he just call me? There is only one person who would call me that. Am I dreaming?_

I moved from my hiding place under the fort to see a dark figure standing in front of me. I can't make out any features but the smell of burgers and fries hits my nose, and my stomach growls.

"Lost?"

"Doc?"

"Edward?"

"Doc?"

I realized I hadn't said anything else and chuckled. "Yeah, it's me."

"What are you doing here, how did you find me?"

"I came to get you."

"Get me?"

_He's here for me...but why?_

"Yeah, I want to take you away from this, take you somewhere you'll be safe."

I stepped forward and I could see his face a little better. He didn't look as old as I thought he was. His face had a pained expression and I knew he was waiting for me to make the first move. But I couldn't...I was warring with myself..._do I really deserve to be saved?_

"Trust me," he whispered, holding out a hand towards me.

And I did. I don't know why, but I took his hand and he suddenly pulled me into him, enveloping me in a scent of food and him and for a moment I am Lost!

"I found you," he sobbed into my hair.

"How?"

He pushed me back slightly as if assessing me for injuries, "It wasn't easy, but the old lady at the library said she had seen a young'un and for some reason I knew it was you."

"Why?"

He shook his head, "Not here, let's go eat somewhere. These burgers will taste like crap as they're nearly cold."

"Seriously, you're complaining that they're cold when I haven't eaten in hours?" I scoffed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

I held my hand up to stop him. "Don't worry Doc, it's cool."

He handed me the burgers and though I was starving, he's right, they do taste like crap. I turned up my nose as I tried to chew them down with a dry mouth and he laughed.

"Crap?"

I chuckled and nodded. "Crap." I threw them in the nearest trash can and walked beside him. As we were leaving the park I heard a voice call out to me.

"Hey kid, make sure he pays you first."

And I froze. _Is this what he wants to save me for, so he can...have me?_

Carlisle immediately caught on and his face became pained again, his eyebrows knitting together.

"I promise you, Edward, I will never touch you like that." His voice was dark; like he was completely devastated I would think that of him.

And I felt as guilty as hell. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"It's okay, you don't really know me." I saw a smile form on his lips.

"Where are we going?"

He turned to look at me again. "I want to take you to my home, Edward. I have more than enough room, its safe there and you will be fed and then maybe we can work on helping you?"

I shrugged._ If he's good, then I'm saved. If he's really a jerk, then I get what I deserve, it's a win-win for me._

I nodded then fell into step with him. We ate at a diner, well, I inhaled my food as he smiles and picks at his.

"I'm sorry, I usually have very good table manners," I mumbled, chewing on my third helping of hot apple pie.

"No need to apologize Edward, like I said before, I've been where you are."

His eyes looked distant, and I don't push. _But one day I will ask him for his story just as I know he is going to ask for mine._

He led me to his car and he's quiet, thoughtful.

The silence was comforting, and along with the heat from the car and the fullness of my stomach, I was soon doing the slow blink. I turned to him and smiled. _He was actually very handsome, dark hair that stood on end a little and deep brown eyes, _my thoughts were interrupted as he glanced from the road for a second and smiled back.

_Maybe I do deserve to be saved..._

**CPOV**

I took the time to really look at Edward as he inhaled his food, sat across from me in the diner. He was pale and had dark circles round his eyes.

The old lady was right, his hair was the epitome of Autumn and his eyes, even though they had lost their spark, were an amazing shade of green.

"I'm sorry, I usually have very good table manners," he mumbled, chewing on his third helping of hot apple pie.

"No need to apologize Edward, like I said before, I've been where you are." I smiled as he licked the ice cream off his spoon.

We walked to my car, I couldn't believe someone would still do this nowadays, surely people were not as narrow minded as when I came out?

He smiled at me as we drove home, I could see his eyes growing heavy as he started to slow blink and before we were even half way home, he was asleep, his head turned towards the window.

His sleep became restless as we neared home. I could see small beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. Grasping the steering wheel with one hand, I slowly placed my free hand on his head, he was burning up.

Pulling into my driveway, I tried to rouse him. He was shivering now and I went into doctor mode.

"Edward...Edward, wake up son."

I gently shook his shoulder, but he didn't respond.

"Edward, son? Please, I must get you into the house."

Still no response. He was mumbling now and I feared he might start fitting if his temperature wasn't lowered soon.

Climbing out and opening the passenger door, I carried him bridal style to the house. Fumbling with the locks, I tossed my keys down as I carried him through the front door and to my guest room.

Placing him on the bed, I considered stripping him down, and then decide against it. He really wouldn't want to wake knowing he had been stripped by a virtual stranger, doctor or not.

I checked his temperature and it's high. I couldn't give him anything as I know nothing about him medically, any allergies or treatment he may already be on. So I opt for a tepid compress that I laid on his head.

I left him for a moment to shower and change into my sweats before I grabbed a spare blanket from the linen closet and settled down in the armchair facing the bed.

My eyes became heavy as I warmed up under the blanket.

I woke suddenly when I attempted to turn over and nearly fell from the chair. Glancing at my watch, I did a double take.

I had slept for nearly ten hours. I couldn't believe it, that's the longest sleep I have had in years.

Stretching out my legs I notice him, he's tucked up into a ball. Sometime during the night he must have woken because his hoodie and jeans were on the floor. His chest rose and fell slowly, his mouth forming a little O.

That was when my life changed, that was when I knew nothing would ever be the same again.


	5. Chapter 5

Well I am overwhelmed this story is up for Best Thriller/Suspense story in the Eclipse awards, thanks for the nomm and the voting is open *wink wink*.

**EPOV**

My head felt like it was in a vice and I was so hot, I stripped off my top and jeans before my muffled brain remembered I was in a strange bed.

Straining my neck, I saw him; he had curled his body into a chair that was far too small to be comfortable.

His soft snores were like a lullaby to me, I was safe... for now.

With that thought I laid back into the amazingly soft pillow and closed my eyes.

My dreams were filled with my parent's faces, dragging me out of the fort and embracing me, saying they're sorry. When I smiled they laughed, saying they couldn't possibly love a freak, that I was poison and I saw my father's heart attack again, before I was taken off by the police.

My dream changed and I was sat in juvenile hall, faceless boys sat around me, hugging their parents. Then I saw him, dark hair and dark eyes walking towards me.

Carlisle stopped at my table and I moved to rise, touching his hand and he pulled it back in disgust before joining another faceless youth.

I bolted upright and I was sobbing when warm, strong hands enveloped me and I leaned into their embrace.

He didn't say a thing, he just held me close, rocking me gently.

My head ached and I was so exhausted as I slid back under the covers.

When I woke again it was dark out, a soft light filled the room from a lamp on the bedside table beside me, and there was also a bottle of water and two Advil. I took them, finishing off the water in three easy gulps.

My stomach ached, so I decided to go look for the Doc.

As I descended the stairs, I was met with the haunting sound of the Flower Duet, Lakme. I knew the piece by heart as I had played it so many times on my piano.

The house was big, the rooms looked spacious as I navigated my way through until I saw a door ajar, light was shining from it and the music began to get louder.

Quietly, I peeked in the door to find him sat at a large desk covered in paperwork; our online conversation came to mind, _boring ass paperwork!_

I chuckled and this alerted him to my presence, he spun in his chair to face me and I note that he looks tired.

"Hey, you should be in bed," he said softly.

I shrugged, walking into his study. "The tablets made me feel a little better, thank you by the way."

He smiled and nodded his head, I looked around and there were books everywhere, then I spied his computer.

"So this is where you talked to me from?"

"Yeah, weird huh?"

"Yeah." I was suddenly very interested in the carpet, I heard the rollers of his office chair and then his feet came into view.

"Edward?" He placed his hand under my chin and I leant into his touch.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"What on earth for?"

"For making you come and get me." He laughed and I raised my eyes, wondering what was so funny, but I didn't see humour in his face.

"Edward, nobody MADE me come get you, you needed help, I wanted to help you, I still want to help you if you'd let me?"

"Why?" I sighed, walking towards his books, running my finger down the spines.

"Because Edward, you are worth saving, my uncle saved me and I don't know where I would have ended up." He laughed but his words sounded a little bitter.

I didn't know what to say so I simply nodded.

I continued to walk around the room until I was greeted by a piano hiding under a velvet cover.

"You play?" I asked, holding up the corner of the cover as he shook his head.

"No, I inherited it with the house." He shrugged.

My fingers toyed with the hem over the cover; I was itching to lift it off. I had always been able to push my feelings into my music.

"You play?" Carlisle asked and I nodded. "Yeah, had lessons from about four years old."

"I'd like to hear you play."

"Really?"

He walked towards me, his dark eyes bright and excited. _Wow, this man is really beautiful._

I shook my head. _Seriously, he's old. Well not really old, but I'm only seventeen and he's thirty that's... wow, thirteen years difference._

"Edward?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"Are you alright, do you need to rest? You did have a very high temperature last night." His face showed concern and I liked it for reasons unknown to me, he's not my father…

_No, your father kicked your ass out then died_…my subconscious scoffed.

"Edward?"

"Guess I'm still tired." I scratched my wrist absentmindedly. His eyes looked down to where I was scratching, his brow knitted together.

"Edward?"

"What?" I didn't mean to snap but I didn't want him to judge me.

He held out his hand, I think he was waiting for mine, to look at my scars.

"They don't hurt, just itch."

"Please?"

I sighed, holding my arm out to him, looking away as I didn't want to see the look of disappointment on his face.

Feather light touches ghosted over my skin, sending a warm glow around my body, making it hum.

"Edward." His voice had an air of authority now, and I couldn't _not_ look at him.

"Please don't ever do this again."

And out popped the ugly teenage monster. Snatching my arm back, I bolted to the door.

"I didn't do it on purpose Doc," I spat. "You have no idea what it was like for me, out there!" My voice rose at the end as I stormed off upstairs, tears threatening to fall.

_See, I'm poison, everything I touch… dies._

Slamming my bedroom door, I fell onto the bed sobbing. _It was nice while it lasted, _I thought as I heard his footsteps coming towards the room.

There came a soft knock, that surprised the hell out of me. Why the hell was he knocking, it was his house.

"Can I come in Edward?"

I sat up and wiped my face with the back of my hand. "Come in."

The door opened slowly, his face was pained, so not the reaction I was expecting.

"I'm...s…" we both said together, he chuckled and motioned for me to continue.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said what I did."

He smiled, pursing his lips. "No you shouldn't, but I shouldn't have gone all parental on you either, now can I take a proper look at them?"

I nodded, holding out my arm.

_CPOV_

I couldn't believe I chastised him like that, but I couldn't help myself. My doctor mode kicked in, along with my protective edge, and everything I said came out wrong.

I'd seen the results of a cutter's arm before, infection and soft tissue scars, and it scared the hell out of me to see he had actually harmed himself.

I was a little surprised by his outburst; he was stronger than I thought.

Taking the stairs two at a time, I stopped outside his door, hearing the sound of soft sobs and it killed me that I caused it.

_Fix this now Carlisle! _My subconscious chided.

We began to apologise at the same time and I had to laugh. I motioned for him to continue and I watched his face as he spoke. His eyes had a knack of drawing me in and I had to shake my head to focus on what he was trying to say.

_He really is a beautiful boy,_ _but that's the crux, he's a boy, he's 17, you're 30! _I mentally chastised myself as he allowed me to look at his scars.

"You're lucky," I smiled, "They're clean." Pulling off the latex gloves, I reached for the bandage I was going to use to dress it.

As I touched skin on skin, my body hummed and the electricity was palpable, his eyes found mine and I think he too felt the strange connection.

"You should go get some more rest." I sighed, pushing my hands into my pockets before I lost the urge to touch his hand again.

I really needed some fresh air, so not waiting for a reply, I headed downstairs, closing the door of my study and leaning my back against it.

_What the hell was I thinking?_

_These feeling of protectiveness must be like what a big brother would feel, right?_

I tried to distract myself with my article for the journal, but the crackling flames of the fire drew me into them. I stared as they danced, bronze embers spitting onto the hearth, and all I could think about were green eyes and autumn hair.

Just big brotherly feelings.

I shook my head, turning back to the screen. I remembered how hard it was to be this age, my parents finding out, the feeling of being alone, unwanted.

I never want Edward to feel like that… Ever!

**Okay, I know it's a shorter chapter, but they are just realising there's something there, a spark, a connection…**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for all the amazing reviews on this story.**

**Thanks to my beta texasbella and my pre reader SimplyMatt. xxx**

**EPOV**

Doc was right, I did need my rest. I was tired as hell and my head was fuzzy again from my lack of sleep and whatever medication he gave me.

I lie back onto my bed, pulling the cover under my chin and the movement of linen sends a scent my way.

It's masculine, like my father's, yet softer, and I can't explain why, but it makes me feel safe.

I began to slow blink, as my eyes lost the fight to stay focused and the room around me dissolved.

I was startled awake by a cry. It took me a moment to realise it was not mine, it was coming from downstairs.

Jumping up, I pulled on a T shirt as I headed off at a run towards the ground floor. I stopped outside the door of his study, it was bathed in just the light from a dying fire and I heard muffled cries. _What if someone has broken in?_

My scalp prickled as I waited with my hand on the handle.

I couldn't hear any additional voices and there were no sounds of a struggle. Throwing open the door, I stepped inside and what came into view was not what I expected…ever!

Doc was slumped in his large leather office chair, sobbing.

I cleared my throat to announce my arrival, but he continued to cry, oblivious.

I walked forward, so I was now beside him. He was mumbling a mantra.

"Papa, I'm sorry. Papa, I wanted to tell you and momma but I...please, Papa don't!" he whispered, his voice small and hoarse from screaming.

The room suddenly went silent, it was eerie, the calm before the storm.

His eyes flared open, causing me to jump back, before a heart wrenching scream left his lips.

His hands wrapped around his body as he began to rock, and I couldn't move. I stand there, emotionally paralysed as I watched him burn in hell.

_What happened to him?_

Our earlier online conversation ticket taped through my hazed brain.

**My father beat the shit out of me and sent me out into the world with only the clothes on my back.**

_**And your Mom?**_

**She killed herself.**

My own tears are now free flowing down my face, my pain intermingled with his pain.

I moved towards him, he was now rocking, crying softly.

I placed my hand on his shoulder, apprehensive of the reaction I would get if and when he awakes.

I know how embarrassed I would feel if it was me.

He visibly relaxed, almost leaning into my touch as his head fell to the desk and soft snores took the place of pained cries.

I smiled to myself knowing that I had somehow managed to get him back from the dark place he had been. Leaving him to sleep, I turned to leave.

"Edward." It was a benediction, not a question.

I turned to find his face was calm, as a small smile played on his lips.

"My saviour…Edward," he whispered and my heart jolted.

_Was he seriously dreaming that I was his saviour? The man who selflessly dropped everything to save me! Could I save him, could I help keep those demons that prayed on him at night away, whilst fighting with my own?_

I shook my head, I was not worthy, I was not strong enough.

I was poison and he would soon see.

**CPOV**

I was lost in the abyss.

Portions from 'the night' swam into my dreams, turning them into nightmares.

Then I felt warmth.

I felt calm, safe...saved!

An unknown force pulled me from the darkness like a train reaching the end of the tunnel. My eyes opened and they were sticky and puffy, a feeling that I was already used to from a night of dreams.

I knew I must have cried and screamed during my sleep, because my throat was scratchy, I just hoped I hadn't woken him.

_Him... the pull?_

I stretched and my joints popped, I felt like crap.

Looking at my watch, it's a little after six. I groaned. I was so not up to going into work today.

I emailed Clarissa, saying I needed to finish the article for the Journal. As the editor of said Journal, she readily agrees it's a priority.

I decided to use the downstairs bathroom so as not to wake Edward, he had a lot of sleep to catch up on.

I allowed the steaming water of the shower to knead my tense muscles. I dried and dressed in a pair of casual grey, mixed wool slacks and a black t shirt.

As I walked to the kitchen, I heard movement upstairs. _Looks like someone is up, _I thought.

Ten minutes later, I had a pot of fresh coffee made and batter mixed for pancakes. _All kids love pancakes...right?_

The sliding of a chair alerted me to his presence. I turned and suppressed a chuckle,

his hair was more wayward today than when I found him.

"Morning, Edward."

"Hmm…"

"Sleep well?"

"Hmm…"

I sighed. I didn't think I was going to get more than monosyllabic answers from him until at least noon.

I busied myself making starting on the pancakes. "Help yourself to an orange juice," I said as I gestured towards the glass fronted cupboards holding the glasses.

"Erm, could I have a coffee instead?" he croaked.

I nodded, pulling a mug from the cupboard beside me and handed it to him, showing him where the cream and sugar were if he wanted them.

"Thanks."

We both tucked into our breakfast, his eyes never left the table and I knew after working with all ages for so long that something was bothering him.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Talk to me."

He shrugged, carrying his plate to the sink. "How do you cope?" he asked finally.

"Cope?"

"Yeah, with what happened to you, and your parents?"

"You just do," I lied, crossing my fingers like a ten year old behind my back.

"How?" he quizzed me.

"You learn strategies, coping mechanisms." My heart was trying to escape through my throat; I couldn't believe I was lying to him.

"Will you teach me?" He arched an eyebrow at me.

"Maybe I can get you the help you need from the hospital?" I offered.

"Why not you?"

"Well," I paused, "I'm not qualified in that field. Most of the time I pass the chat people onto professionals," I tried to explain.

"Chat people?"

"Yeah, the one's I meet online."

"Like me?" _Yes just like you, but I needed to save you, to bring you home safe._

"Yeah, I suppose."

"I'd rather you taught me, I trust you!" he cried defiantly.

Those three words cut into me like a hot knife into butter, he trusted me and I was lying to him.

"We need to talk," I sighed as I wiped my hands.

I walked into my study and he followed me, sitting on the settee while I made a fresh fire.

My hands visibly shook as I sat in my chair, causing Edward to frown. "What happened to you Doc?"

"When?"

"When your parents found out."

I shrugged. "Pretty much the same thing as you."_ Carlisle, he trusts you, stop hiding from him_, I internally scolded myself.

He folded his arms across his chest. He was a clever kid and he knew I was stalling.

"Edward, it was a long time ago, I don't remember all the details."

Except, I did. Every fucking night I was forced to remember them in my dreams… the insults, the feel of the cold belt buckle on my back. I shuddered.

He stood, turning away from me to lean on the back of the settee. "Why did you bring me here?"

"I wanted to help you, I wanted you to trust me so I can show you that it's okay to be gay," I said honestly.

"I do trust you."

"I know," I whispered and suddenly the warmth from last night all made sense. He had been , he comforted me, he knew. , "I'm sorry," I whispered again, my voice hard to find.

He spun on his heels to face me, his face blotchy as tears ran down his cheeks. "Then stop lying to me."

I sank into my chair, and rubbed my face with my hands.

I felt the warmth again and Edward was beside me, his hand on my shoulder. "I heard you last night, Doc. I stood by and watched you burn in hell and I didn't do anything," he lamented.

I scoffed. "Yes you did." I gestured to his hand which made him smile.

"You called out my name."

I froze.

"You called me your saviour…how can I be, you saved me?"

"I don't know, but you did pull me out of the darkness. I felt the warmth of your hand."

"Tell me. Help me, help you." He sighed as he knelt before me.

"I was in bed with a friend of mine, we were both curious, seventeen and horny." I chuckled. "We had kissed a little, touched each other over clothes, but that was it. His cousin had promised to text once he saw my parent's car pull up the street, but as I later found out, father had a drink so they decided to get a cab."

Edward groaned and I nodded, "Yeah."

"So, we were lying on my bed, trousers under our butts and Ben hand his hands on both our… well, you know…" I trailed off, wondering if this was more information than I should be giving him.

Edward chuckled. "Seriously, Doc, you can say the word, you're a doctor and I'm gay."

I laughed. _Cheeky fucker. _"Okay smart ass, he had hold of both our dicks and he was stroking them when my parents walked in the door."

"Shit," Edward cringed.

"Yeah," I let out a dry laugh. "My father pulled him off, and then he saw the whole picture. He dragged Ben outside and dumped him then came back for me."

I could feel my knee starting to bounce as my hands became clammy. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath and let it out slowly before I resumed.

"When he came back upstairs I was till frozen on the bed, attempting to pull my trousers up." I sighed as the memory of his towering figure loomed over me.

I felt warmth and looked down, Edward was now kneeling close, his hand resting on my bouncing limb.

"He pulled out his belt and threw me onto m...my stomach," I panted. "He...erm, he held me down by his knee, said I enjoyed the position being the fag I was." My breathing shallowed as my skin began to tingle and tears began to fall.

"He hit me with the buckle of his belt; so many times I think I passed out. He even grabbed my ass cheek, asking if I enjoyed it," I sobbed. "Then I remember feeling cold and I was sat on the front step, his shadow over me."

I tried to compose myself, but it was too late. Drawing in a long breath, I rubbed my face furiously. "He told me I was dead to him and my mother. Then he closed the door."

I stood abruptly, knocking Edward away, and began to pace my study, trying to calm myself. As I turned for the third, maybe fourth time, I was stopped by sad green eyes.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I'm a fake. I have to write a fucking article on coping with PTSD and I can't even cope with it myself!" I sobbed, balling my fists.

Edward stood, closing the distance between us. "You're not a fake, you're coping the best you can. Fuck Carlisle, I thought I had it bad." He sighed and placed his hands on my upper arms..._warmth._

"I can't help you, Edward. I was stupid to think I could."

Edward shook his head. "Yes, you can, and you have. But maybe you need a little saving too?" he suggested as he smiled tenderly at me.

I laughed. _Had I really been sent to save this boy, or was he chosen to save me?_

Whatever the answer was, I was truly grateful.


	7. Chapter 7

Okay, in this chapter I touch on an episode of depression/psychotic structure and although I have endeavoured to be as factually correct as possible, I'm sorry for any mistakes.

Thanks so much to my pre reader Simplymatt and my amazing beta texasbella.

EPOV

I had felt so fucking guilty shouting at him, and even more breaking down in front of him like I knew his pain... I didn't.

I'd had a few days of sleeping rough, eating crap and yes, I'd cut myself during that time, but to me that was a sign of weakness. There were no marks on his arms, no signs of weakness.

I had thanked my lucky stars that I hadn't been beaten, I felt nothing for my family now, respect as my father so often told me, was earned not expected. _Oh how right you were, dear father_ and yes, he's now dead, but I had been dead to him so much sooner.

We fell into easy conversation after our declarations of honesty, he made a light lunch and we were now sat on his patio eating, the new topic of discussion was about me finishing high school.

"Why can't I finish my studies at home? I have a few short months till graduation, I don't want to face them, not now."

"Them?"

"The kids at school, they already think I'm weird, I don't need their stares, their judgments, not now," I sighed.

"Edward, I'm not a teacher, plus I have to go to work..."

"I'll do it myself, Carlisle. Most of my lessons I can get online." He sighed, looking as though he was about to argue so I quickly added, "I'll even phone the school and ask to do all my exams online too."

He nodded. "Colleges?"

"Shit!" All of my college applications would have been sent... _there._

"Edward?"

"My applications, they'll all be there..."

His brows knitted together, then the penny dropped. "Ah."

"Yeah."

"I could contact your mother, anonymously of course, and ask for the applications?"

"NO!" She would tell him to get rid of me, rid himself of the poison before I hurt him too. "I'll take a year off, find myself somewhere to stay and apply next year." I shrugged.

"Edward...I..."

"Listen Doc, I get that you want to help me, but you don't know me, you're not my parent...so..." I stood and walked into the house making for the stairs.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" I answered, not turning around.

"I know I'm not your parent, I know I don't really know you, but if you give me the chance I'd like to, get to know you that is."

I turned at the top of the stairs, the sun was shining in through the glass from the front door onto his face, _he really was quite attractive... for a thirty something._

"I was going to suggest you coming into the hospital to do volunteer work since we are always looking for people to talk to patients and help out, you know?"

I sat down on the stairs and said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"For jumping to conclusions, for thinking you were trying to tell me what to do."

He chuckled, "It's understandable."

"Huh?"

"You're a teenager, isn't that what they do?"

"Oh!" I laughed, "You're funny...for an old guy."

"Hey, I'm not old. I'm only thirty!"

"Yeah okay, well I won't be a kid much longer I'm eighteen in..." My breath left me...I would be eighteen in a week. I remembered my parents talking about the huge get together they were planning, my present was going to be a 'reasonable car', whatever that meant, although I had seen my father looking at a Volvo! _Seriously, I'd rather walk._

I felt a hand on my knee, stopping it from bouncing, "Edward, you okay?"  
My body leaned into his touch, humming as the heat from his hand spread through my body.

I stood and practically ran to my room, thinking, _fucking coward, he wanted to know if you were okay and you just upped and ran._ I slammed the door, pressing my back against the wood. _What the hell was that about?_

I took in deep breaths as my thoughts continued to toss around in my head.  
_Why does he make me feel that way when he touches me?_  
_Why does my body hum when he is close?_

Like it knew something I didn't.

_Did I think he was attractive, beautiful even?_

I heard his footfalls moving down the stairs and away from me. "Fuck!" I hissed, rubbing my face with my hands.

I decided to take a shower to sort my thoughts and try to calm down. I allowed the hot spray to massage my aching body, and found my hand moving down to my groin of its own accord and I gave in. Achingly, I slid my erection slowly up and down with my hand as my mind was suddenly filled with brown caring eyes, smiles and open fires.

My knees collapsed as I came against the stark white tiles. "Urgh... Carlisle..." I moaned.

Wait!  
_What?_

_**You're going to fuck this up, just like you fucked up your mother and me...**_

Came the cold tone of my father's voice... he was right, if I had been normal, I wouldn't have fucked everything up.

My fading pink scars glowed like a beacon... _I am poison, I need to be __punished, I don't deserve to live..._

I rushed from the shower and fumbled around in my backpack that had been on the chair since my arrival. I found my swiss army knife and pulled open the blade, my hands trembling.

My father's voice echoed in my head.

_**"Get out." **_

_**"I said get out, get out of my house."**_

_**"I gave you everything." **_

_**"You are dead to me." **_

Then the voice changed to my mothers as my hand tightened around the handle of the blade...

_**"Get out."**_

_**"You've killed him, get out!"**_

_**"You deserve to die, you killed him, you brought those evil words into our home...you...fr..freak!"**_

_**"Leave now, go and I won't tell the police it was you."**_

"Please, leave me alone," I whispered.

"Doc grab his legs, keep him still," I heard the rough voice whisper shout.

I felt myself being held down, but it wasn't warm caring hands, it was rough bear like paws holding onto my shoulder.

"Emm leave go, he's going to go catatonic in a minute, look at his eyes." This voice I knew, although his words confused me.

"Doc, he has a knife!"

"He won't hurt me..." _Wait, what, of course I wouldn't hurt him what is he talking about?_

"Doc, I can't take that chance. Ali would never forgive me."

_Who is Ali?_

I fought against my restraints but they held me firm, as darkness was pulling me under.

"Edward?" the voice was soft and familiar, yet sounded a million miles away.

I couldn't move, my eyes were open, my lips moved but fell silent. _What was happening to me?_

"Edward?"

_I'm here Doc, can't you hear me?_

"Doc, he needs Lorazepam."

"I know."

_I need what?_

Why?

I screamed out his name, but it fell on deaf ears.

The words around me were muffled , like I had my head in a fish bowl.

"Doc!"

"I KNOW WHAT HE NEEDS, EMMETT, DAMMIT!"

Emmett?

_Who the fuck is Emmett, and why is Doc shouting at him?_

"Carlisle?" This Emmett's voice was softer now, almost comforting.

"I can't lose him, Emmett."

"Carlisle?"

I saw the Doc shrug as he sat on the edge of my bed.

"I met him online..." he began and I saw Emmett's eyes widen "No! Oh hell no, not like that. He was on the chatline, he was so lost and I saw in him so much of where I was before Ali's father took me in."

_Wait..so Ali is, family?_

"You can't save everyone."

Doc chuckled and looked at me and then back to Emmett. "I think he is going to save me," he almost whispered as he looked at the floor in front of him and then back at me.

"I'll call the hospital, get the Lorazepam brought over," Emmett said as he sighed.

_I can't save you!_ I screamed in my head.

My hands flexed into fists, yet my fingers lay flat on the comforter in front of me, I was being held prisoner by an invisible force.

"Edward, please come back to me, whatever happened, why you have the knife... we'll work through it." His voice was closer now.

_Knife?_

My eyes scanned the bed and the silver of my old swiss army knife caught my eye. Why _DID _I have the knife?

_**Because you're a fuck up...**_

_**Because you were too chicken shit to help out that kid so we could have finished you off, just like you wanted..don't you remember?**_

_**Cry baby?**_

"Edward?"

_Doc!_ My lips moved, but still nothing, no sound came out.

Emmett walked back into the room with a small freeze box and handed it to Doc, who smiled sadly.

I watched in a terrified stupor as he removed a syringe, gently pushing out a small geyser of liquid.

He turned to me, "Forgive me, Edward, but you need this."

My eyes wouldn't close and I was watching every movement as the needle penetrated the inside of my arm.

_I'm floating and I feel like I'm having an out of body experience..._

_Am I dead?_

_Did he just kill me?_

Wait no, he couldn't have because now I could feel things, I could feel the softness of the pillow under my head, I could smell the clean crisp sheet that was covering me and I was so very tired.

I heard music and it was a lament, haunting... I've heard and played it a million times and now its grounding me, bringing me back


	8. Chapter 8

So glad you guys are loving the slow build of the relationship between my two characters. But as we all know, the path of true love never runs smoothly.

I own nothing... only the best Beta and pre reader .

**Cpov**

I paced the floor of my study, sure I was going to wear the carpet out.

"Carlisle, please sit down," Emmett pleaded with me.

"I can't, I have to know what triggered it, what I could have done to prevent it."

"Maybe he can tell you when he wakes, but you know as well as anyone, you never fully understand what triggers these things."

I nodded, I knew he was right, he'd been there when I had been at my worst.

I sat down and rubbed my hands over my face.

"You look tired, you still having your nightmares?"

"Yeah, but not as bad as before."

"Does he have something to do with that?" Emmett asked as he thumbed towards the stairs.

"Yes, I mean, I don't know. He has this thing over me, he pulled me back, calmed me..." I let out a puff of air, frustrated.

"Doc?"

I knew what he was thinking, what he was going to say.

"Emmett...I..."

"Carlisle...he's..." I held up my hand to stop him.

"I know," I said, a little too bitterly.

"Uncle C?" a familiar voice shouted from the hallway.

"In here Ali," I called back. Alice breezed through the door and straight into my waiting arms. She was the closest thing to family that I had, since her father, my uncle, had passed.

She spent her days off helping on the same chatline that I worked on. She had yet to meet Edward since talking to him the day I was at work.

"What happened?" She looked from me to Emmett.

I shrugged.

"Is he okay?"

I nodded, and then the realisation of how close I had come to losing him passed over me like a suffocating fog.

I sat back on the sofa and began to sob.

Two sets of arms enveloped me, one tiny and one strong.

"Carlisle?" Emmett whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"You love him," Alice whispered, a statement more than a question.

"Ali, he's seventeen, and I've only known him, what, all of five days."

"Daddy fell in love with Papa the moment he saw him." She smiled.

"Ali," I groaned.

"What, it's true." She pouted. "And he was six years older than him!"

She was right, Alec and Paul had fallen in love the moment they had met. Even now, I could remember being so jealous that he was free to love like that. They had married soon after and then a few years later they adopted Alice.

It was cruel that she had lost them both so soon, another statistic of drunk driving. Alice, who had been ten at the time, was sent to live with a foster mother, Esme, a beautiful person inside and out.

"It's different."

"Why?" She stood before me, hands on her hips, the top of her head reaching just under my chin.

"Carlisle, we can't help who we fall in love with, just look at me and Emmett." She giggled at the shocked look on his face, then winked.

"Ali, it's just..."

"What? Different because we're straight?" she snapped. "The age difference is almost the same, give or take a few years."

She was right, Emmett and I had met in medical school. I 'd had a dinner with colleagues one night when Ali had stayed over. She had just turned seventeen and I'd known from the look they gave one another that there was something there. They hadn't made anything official, however, until she turned eighteen, a little over a year ago.

Now they were inseparable and had planned a spring wedding for the following year. Esme had been amazing, not once questioning the age difference.

But what they had, was that how I felt about the boy upstairs? Yes a boy, irrelevant that he would be eighteen soon, I was still twelve years his senior.

I had a strong unprecedented urge to protect him, but not like a father would a son.

I felt two tiny hands cup my cheeks, bringing them up to sparkling turquoise pools.

"Uncle C, I love you, I want to see you happy, like I remember Papa and Daddy were." Her eyes glistened as she kissed my cheeks.

"I'm so confused." I sighed.

"How do you feel when you look at him?"

"Calm."

"You have a strong urge to protect him," Emmett said softly as he smiled. "I saw that look Carlisle, I know that feeling." He chuckled as he snaked his arm around my niece's tiny waist. "I get it all the time."

Alice stood on her tiptoes where she barely reached his chin, she lifted her lips and kissed the underside of his jaw; it was so simple yet intimate.

"Love you, Boo."

"Boo?" I chuckled.

"Hey, you just wait, when you and Edward are all loved up, you'll have pet names."

"Okay baby, you are getting ahead of yourself, lets go before you freak your uncle out anymore." Emmett smiled as he pulled her to the door.

"Bye,Uncle C." She giggled as she danced back over to me and kissed me.

"Bye, baby girl."

"Bye, Doc."

"Bye, Dopey." I laughed. "Em?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you... for..." my voice cracked.

He stalked back over to me, towering over my six foot frame, he simply said, "Any time." He smiled as he patted me on the shoulder.

An hour later, after I had warred with myself and paced in front of his door repeatedly, I slowly opened it.

I took a moment to really look at him, feeling a little like a pervert, as I drank his body in. He was slightly bronzed, maybe from where he used to live, his body toned from possibly taking part in sports.

I walked to the edge of the bed and sat down. I allowed my fingers to brush the hair from his face, exposing his flawless, innocent yet beautiful features.

He looked so relaxed now, not the scared, rigid human being from a few short hours ago.

I closed my eyes and tried to remember what had happened moments before he had bolted.

!

_I had touched him!_

I had laid my hand on his bouncing leg to try and comfort him!

I had caused it, I had caused this broken boy immeasurable pain, to the extent he was going to hurt himself.

_I will NEVER touch him again! _I promised myself.

Then I heard it...

My name from his lips...

**EPOV**

I was having an amazing dream.

I was stood on a hillside, people all around me smiling.

My hand was warm, it was encased in someone else's... and no one was judging me.

I followed the hand to its owner.

Dark short brown hair and deep burnt crimson eyes.

He was smiling like it was Christmas morning.

He was smiling at _me_, and then others joined us.

They shook my hand, and his, as they laughed and joked.

He placed his hand on my face, and moved my damn hair out of my eyes and his touch was palpable, setting my skin on fire.

Then his hand pulled away, the hand holding mine loosened its grip.

_No, please don't let go... I need you, please._

His eyes looked pained as his hand released mine.

_Carlisle!_


	9. Chapter 9

**So here is the story I am focusing on, my others are on hiatus for the moment.**  
**I own nothing only the best pre reader and muse Simplymatt, and Beta texasbella. xxx**

**CPOV**

"Carlisle!" My name sang from his lips.

My steps faltered as I turned to see his pained face, eyes open wide.

"Carlisle?"

"Edward?" In three short strides I was by his side and on my knees.

"I'm so..." he started to say, but I held my hand up to stop him.

"No need to be sorry, I should be the one apologising." He looked at me curiously. "I touched your leg," I sighed. "I'm sorry I should have known better."

He shook his head furiously. "You didn't do anything wrong, I...I...just."

"It's okay, Edward."

"No, I need to tell you, didn't you say I should talk to someone?"

I nodded.

He was right, I did say that, so who was I to refuse him his voice now?

"Can I talk to you?" He looked down at the comforter, suddenly interested with the pattern that he traced with his finger absent mindedly.

Should I allow this?

Should I let him tell me his innermost demons, let him think I could help him and pretend like he doesn't mean anything to me, like he's just a kid?

"I don't know Ed..." I started.

"Please Carlisle."

There it was again, my name on his lips, making my stomach flip.

"Not here."

He nodded. "Where?"

"How about you get dressed and we go out for a while, somewhere that is quiet?"

_Somewhere away from all this, _I thought, _somewhere neutral, a place we can both feel comfortable._

An hour later we were sat on a park bench, eating fresh pastries from the deli around the corner.

"I like this place." Edward smiled as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

"I come here to think, when things get a little too much."

"Does that happen a lot?"

I shrugged.

"Carlisle, please talk to me, we need to talk if..." He stopped and turned away from me.

"If?" _What was he trying to say?_

"Never mind," he sighed.

"Edward, we came out here to talk."

"So talk." He smiled as he turned his words on me.

"You first," I chuckled.

"What do you want to know?"

_Everything!_

"Why don't you start at the beginning?"

He sighed and slumped down further into the bench.

"I moved here with...them...about six months ago, he had just come out of the military, so living in one place for a long time is not the norm for us, I found it hard to make friends."

I nodded, I had known how that felt, my dad being a pastor was hard, no one wanted to be friends with the pastor's son in case he told on them, how wrong they were.

"So when we moved here I started getting a little hopeful, that's when I met Drew."

"Drew?"

"Yeah a guy from school, my first boy crush." He chuckled as he let out a deep breath.

"Ahh."

"I thought he was into me, thought if this was who I was, why fight it. We played around a little... simple touches, stolen kisses... you know?"

His eyes lifted to mine and I felt a blush creep over my skin.

He smiled a crooked smile and I laughed softly, _cheeky fucker._

"So anyway, I decided to come out to my parents. Drew had moved on, but I knew I was definitely gay."

"Wow, that's brave." I smiled with pride, I had been 'outed', I don't think I would have ever come out to my parents at such a young age.

"Yeah, because it worked so well."

"Edward." I moved to place my hand on his arm, but thought better of it. "It wasn't your fault, you can't be responsible for other's reactions."

His eyes were on my hand, almost brushing his leg.

"I know that now, but would it have been so bad for them to just accept me? I didn't dye my hair pink or get a piercing or anything crazy, I was still me."

He sighed. "It seems everything I touch turns to shit."

"No it doesn't," my voice was barely a whisper.

"Huh?"

"You said you saw me...asleep, dreaming?" My mouth was suddenly dry.

"Yeah."

"You touched my leg?"

He nodded.

I took a deep breath. "You pulled me back."

"Pulled you back?"

"Yeah." I chuckled as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"How?"

"I don't know, all I remember was being in an abyss, it was suffocating, then I felt a pull, warmth and I saw you," my voice cracked at the end and I stood and walked towards the old bandstand.

I stood there for a moment, peeling some of the paint with my fingernail.

I saw his hand move in slow motion to cover mine. The world stopped spinning for that defining moment, allowing me an infinitesimal second to enjoy his touch before it was snapped away.

"Carlisle?"

"Edward?"

"Please look at me!" I turned slightly in his arms, I wanted to pull him closer. _What the hell was happening to me?_

He looked at me through his long eyelashes, his green eyes intense as they held me prisoner.

"Carlisle, I'm going to be eighteen in a week!" he said, his voice breaking a little.

"I know."

He chuckled and turned from me, his shoulders slumped as he turned back, his eyes had darkened.

"Carlisle...I..."

"I know."

He took a step closer.

I took one back, my back hitting against the wooden wall of the stand. My eyes drifted from his down to his cherry lips, I imagined taking his lower lip between mine, suckling on it.

"Hey daddy, that old man there looks like you," a child's voice giggled behind us.

_Old man!_

Edward chuckled, a reflex I knew, I used to do it when I was younger.

"You think I'm old?" A stupid question, of course thirty is old to a teenager.

"Carlisle... I..." he stumbled over his words just long enough for me to move away from him. _What the hell was I thinking?_

I strode with a good steady pace back towards the bench, before I sat down with my head in my hands.

"You're not old," he said with a quiet sigh, coming to stand in front of me.

"I am old enough to know better."

"Carlisle?"

"We should go." I stood and began to walk towards the car.

**EPOV**

He was so close that I could taste his breath on my tongue.

The dream was still firmly planted in my head.

His hand in mine, us, together?

His eyes, locked on mine, drifted to my lips and back again.

His burnt crimson eyes pulled me down again, leaving my body gasping for air.

Then that stupid little kid had to go call him old and me, the stupid BIG kid, had to laugh.

He sidestepped me and made his way back to the bench. I had to fix this.

I told him he wasn't old, and he came back with his answer that he was old enough to know better, what ever the hell that meant?

"We should go." He sighed, stood and began walking back in the direction of the car.

I reached out for his hand as he moved away from me, holding him in place.

"We need to talk," I said with as much confidence as I could.

"Why?" he replied with his back to me.

"Because of what almost happened back there. Carlisle, you can't tell me you didn't want it too, that you didn't feel it too?"

He exhaled and turned but I didn't release him. He looked down to our joined hands and smiled.

"Edward, you're..."

"Seventeen, yeah I know!" I bit back a little bitterly.

"I can't."

"What if I was already eighteen?"

His eyes darted to mine, and the look said everything I needed to know.

I pulled gently on his hand and he walked a little closer, still aware we might be seen.

"I am eighteen in a week," I whispered.

"I know." He smiled back.

"Then it's settled?" I laughed with a cocky smile on my face. I made to pull away but he held fast to my hand, my heart jolted.

"Just so you know Edward," He leaned in closer towards me and he kissed my cheek, it was the lightest of touches as his lips ghosted over my skin, "I won't hurt you."

Author recs;

Simplymatt

Arc Morpheus

texasbella

True English Rose

Bec Rose

Minidiannax

plus many more on my fave authors list in my acct.


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning, this chapter deals with dark matters. I have researched everything and to the best of my knowledge, everything is correct.****  
****I own nothing only the best Pre reader Simplymatt, and best Beta texasbella.****  
**

**EPOV**

_I won't hurt you!_

Those four words were now branded into my soul, I had never felt so sure of anything in my life.

The journey back home wasn't filled with idle chatter, instead, comfortable silences allowing us both to sink into our own thoughts.

_Was this an extension of my nightmare, would I wake alone?_

_Could I possibly deserve the happiness that had been laid out before me?_

"You okay over there?" I smiled and turned to his voice, nodded and looked back out of the window. "You sure you're okay, Edward?"

"Yeah, I'm just thinking."

"About?"

"Me...Us...you know?"

"Its a lot to take in, huh?"

I chuckled, "You could say that, I've gone from being a freak to being the object of someone's affections."

Something I would never get used to.

He moaned at the side of me. "Edward, you were never a freak!"

"Hmm," I replied simply, I didn't want to get into an argument with him.

We talked as he made dinner, discussing my final months of high school.

I promised him that because he had to work the next day, I would go find out if I could take my finals here. He was going to drop me off in Port Angeles I could go to my old school to sort everything out.

We parted at our own rooms that night, but I could feel the invisible force that kept me grounded to him like a silken thread, unbreakable, that could stretch out for miles, connecting me to him.

I woke to screams, climbed out of my bed, and made my way to his room.

His door was open a slither, I pushed it open further but found his room empty.

A new guttural cry alerted me to his whereabouts, his bathroom.

"Carlisle?" I whispered.

…..

"Doc?"

…..

I pressed my ear to the door, the sound of the shower muffling all other noise within.

"_That isn't true, he wants me too..."_

"Carlisle?"

"_I can help him... Alice said her and Emmett are the same age as us..." _he cried. "_You don't know her, you never knew her because you didn't know him, your own fucking brother...because he was gay too," he sobbed._

I pushed against the door as hard as I could, something stopped it halfway. I peered inside the best I could.

There sat naked on the floor, feet against the door, was a broken man.

_MY broken man._

"Carlisle, you have to move your feet," I whispered, he didn't look at me but pulled his knees under his chin and held them close with white locked knuckles.

Straight to my knees I went, I hugged his head into my chest and discovered he was trembling and sobbing.

"Sshhh," I cooed.

"I won't hurt you."

"I know , I know," I reassured him.

Then his eyes went wide as he lifted his head and his lips connected with mine...

His tongue caressed my bottom lip and I could feel my sleep pants tighten.

OMG this is amazing..._**I gotta stop him**_...ungh..**.**_**he's going to regret**_**.**..mmm..**.**_**this.**_

His strong hands grabbed my waist and pulled me down on top of him, never breaking our kiss.

"Carlisle," I mumbled through our lips.

"Need you," he gasped as his hand neared the elastic on my pants.

I knew I had to stop this, I had to fight my teenage hormones and put a stop to something that would devastate him in the morning.

"Doc, no!" I whispered gently as I pushed myself off of him.

His eyes closed, and when he opened them again, he looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Edward?"

"It's okay, Carlisle, you must have stumbled or something, this floor is pretty slippery." I smiled, because he didn't need to know what he did. He shook his head and I offered him a hand to lift him from the floor.

"Thank you, Edward." His eyes looked confused as he takes in his nakedness, something I didn't even notice...well, not a lot anyway.

xOx

He dropped me off at Port Angeles High the next morning as planned. I stood and looked at the red brick building, my mouth suddenly dry.

I made my way to see the principal, he was very upbeat when he saw me, not the behavior I would have imagined a person would have shown to a boy who had just lost his father.

I told him I was staying with a friend, that I would be there for a while.

He told me I could sit my exams at the local youth centre.

We shook hands and I left, feeling on edge, but I couldn't figure out why.

I walked past the old play park where I had spent my nights, huddled under the fort.

It seemed like a lifetime ago.

I stopped and looked at my watch, I had an hour or two to kill before he was due back to pick me up. My stomach grumbled, and since I hadn't had much of an appetite at breakfast, I decided to grab a bite at the local convenience store.

It felt great not having to look through the spoiled section, but being able to go straight for the fresh produce. I grabbed an apple and a bottle of coke.

"Thank you, Mrs Masen, and it's great to see Mr Masen out and about again. Gave us quite a scare there, Mr Masen," the shop assistant said as he laughed.

_Surely another Masen?_

"I'm getting better, thank you, Ralph."

_No!_

_It can't be?_

I turned slowly as my feet became weighted to the floor, the couple at the cash register were hidden by an island of soup cans all symmetrically stacked.

"How's that young'un of yours...what's his name?"

"We don't have any children," came a quiet voice.

I stopped, held my breath as my head peeped around the aluminium structure.

"I'm sorry, I thought..."

"He died..." came the steely reply.

_What!_

As the couple turned to leave, I saw him..._them_.

Mom!

Dad?

He turned his head as he waited for my mother to leave before him, his eyes caught mine.

Devoid of emotion.

**CPOV**

"Hows Edward?" Emmett smiled as he handed me my second cup of coffee of the day.

"He's good, seems to be sleeping better." I smiled.

"And you?"

I shrugged. "Woke up in the bathroom this morning, butt naked with Edward beside me." I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck, there was something more to that scene and I knew it.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, Edward said I must have fallen going for a shower or something."

"You want me to check you out?"

"Nah, I'm good, all I remember is the pull that seems to hold onto me whenever he's near." I shrugged.

The cries of the sirens invaded our ears, stopping all conversation.

We began to run down the white sterile corridors, towards the blue flashing light perched high on the wall.

Code Blue!

We tossed our drinks into the nearest bin as we neared the deafening siren.

What happened?

"What we got?" Emmett shouted as he entered the room before me.

"Young male, late teens, looks like suicide attempt, Doc."

White coats moved by me in a blur, trolleys laden with machines that beeped.

I stopped outside the door.

"His heart's stopping again!" I heard Emmett shout.

"Defib now!"

"Clear!"

The vision of his body, rising and falling from the shock, sent bile up my throat. Clutching my hand to my mouth, I found the nearest planter.

Silence...

No light.

No flurry of white.

Silence...

"Why?" I whispered.

A strong hand on my shoulder, a sympathetic look.

"Doc?"

Nodding as I am escorted into the room, a blanket of grief covered me.

"Carlisle, you shouldnt be in here. Grace, call for Doctor Clearwater!" Emmett shouted.

"I'm fine," I whispered.

_Am I?_

_No!_

I stood there, looking at the pale body of my life, the boy I had grown to love, fitted with tubes as they're still trying frantically to revive him.

"Why?" I whispered, barely audible above the commotion in the room.

"Do you know him?" the nurse asked.

"I thought I did," my thoughts left my lips.

**Beep...**

"We've got him!" Emmett cried, allowing me to suck in a ragged breath. "It's faint, but we have a pulse."

Falling to my knees, I thanked the god I had long since disregarded that he had saved him.

_Now what?_

I had no idea what had happened from me leaving him at the school this morning to now.

"Once we have him stable, we'll move him to F ward."

I shook my head. "Move him to a private room, put all his fees on my account."

The young male nurse stopped and rose a questioning brow at me, I really wasn't in the mood to explain right now. "Do you have a problem with that?" I challenged.

"No, Doctor Cullen."

"Good!"

Strong hands that smelled of rust and salt helped me from the floor.

"Carlisle?"

"What happened?" my voice rasped. Emmett sighed and I looked into his eyes, glistening with unshed tears. "Em?"

"They found him in the play park, by the fort." He cleared his throat.

"Injuries?"

"Don't do this to yourself."

"_Injuries_!" I growled.

Emmett sighed. "Slashed wrists," he paused, allowing me to take in the details, perfect bedside manner as we had been taught in Med school, " he also had pills."

"Pills?"

Emmett nodded.

I could feel the bile rising in my throat again. _Where the hell had he gotten pills from?_

"Did he take any?"

"We don't know."

"Have you checked?"

Emmett snorted beside me, of course he'd checked.

"Sorry."

"We've done blood gasses." I nodded. "You know the drill Carlisle, it's a waiting game." He slumped down into the seat beside me.

"I can't lose him," my voice but a whisper.

"You won't."

Elbows on knees, I placed my head in my hands.

White and blue bodies rushed by us in their usual routines, I felt invisible, like I blended into the peeling wall behind me.

"Fuck!" I cussed abruptly. Yeah, that got their attention.

"Carlisle?"

"Emmett, I can't just sit here, I'm going fucking crazy," I hissed.

"I'll go see if the test results have come back, and when we can go see him."

Emmett left me with my thoughts of what had happened?

_Had one of his school friends bullied him?_

_Had the principal said no, that he had to finish up school in Port Angeles?_

I don't know how long Emmett had been gone, but when he turned the corner his face was ashen.

I stood and met him halfway.

"Emm?"

"Let's find somewhere private." His voice was quiet, not like Emmett at all and I felt myself begin to crumble.

We found an empty office and he sat, ankles crossed on the edge of the desk as he turned a piece of paper around in his hand.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "Aspirin."

"Did he take some?" my voice was little more than a whisper.

Emmett nodded.

"Emmett?"

"200mg."

"Fuck!"

"Heart?"

"Still pumping a little fast but they have it stabilised. They've put him in a medically induced coma."

I nodded, the less exertion the better.

"Blood loss?"

"Not overly dangerous, kinda helped." He laughed softly, humorlessly.

I nodded, if he had just taken the pills, maybe he wouldn't have been found on time.

The realisation that once again I could have lost him was all too much and I broke down.

Emmett held me in the darkening office until I had cried myself dry.

"Can I go and see him?" Emmett nodded.

"I've put myself in charge of him, thought it would be a good idea, that way I can keep you informed."

"Thanks," I said and my voice cracked.

We walked together to the far side of the hospital, to M wing, home of menus and fluffy pillows, but that isn't why I had him moved him there. I had moved him there so he could get the best help he needed, the help he deserved.

"Claire?" We stopped in front a young nurse with olive skin and slick black hair.

"Doctor McCarty, Doctor Cullen." She smiled as she pulled out a chart, _his _chart.

"Hey Claire, can we go in?"

She smiled at Emmett and nodded. "Of course you can, Emily is just finishing up some more blood tests."

We nodded and walked to the room, my feet stopped.

"Carlisle?"

My breathing was erratic and my palms were clammy.

Emmett opened the door, and I felt it, the pull, the silken thread that attached itself to me, from him.

I ignored the beeping of the machines, the hissing of the ventilator, they were background interferences I heard every day.

My eyes were on him, he looked so peaceful, even with a breathing tube in and monitors connected to his chest.

His arms were laid out straight over the covers, his wrists dressed.

My feet carried me to his bedside and I had to touch him, had to know that he was still with me. So I pushed his unruly hair from his face.

"You need a haircut." I chuckled quietly.

I could hear Emmett and Emily as they discussed his treatment, but my eyes never left his.

"Why?" I whispered as I threaded my fingers through his, I turned when I remembered where I was.

Emmett had taken the conversation outside, I owed him.

"Edward?" I sighed as I placed a soft kiss on his dressed wrists.

"What happened, why didn't you call me?" I sniffed.

I turned towards the door as the handle began to move. Quickly I ducked towards his perfect face, leaving a feather light kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Please don't leave me," I whispered. "I need you."


	11. Chapter 11

**So pleased you are all still taking this journey with me and my boys.**  
**Much love to my Muse and Pre reader Simplymatt, and my Beta texasbella without these two my writing would not be as good as it is.**

**EPOV**

"Fuck dude, look where you're going!" That was the second person who had tossed me aside, I was walking in a drunken haze, or I'd guessed this was what it would feel like.

As my only crime here was being gay.

_I just saw my parents!_

My father was alive, he had survived!

I could feel the hatred boil inside me, was I that fucking disgusting they would pass me off as dead?

Maybe they thought I was dead?

I could have believed that...at least until he'd seen me...the way he'd looked at me was horrific.

A stranger's eyes upon a stranger, that's how they had felt, although knowing what my father was like, he wouldn't have looked at a dying man in the street with that contempt.

_You know what to do then don't you boy!._.the voice laughed in my head.

I shook my head, Carlisle cared about me.

The voice gave out a maniacal laugh. _He's a grown man...a freak like you, he deserves to suffer..._

"No!" I shouted out, and suffered disapproving looks from passers by.

_You deserve to die, Edward..._

"Why?" I sobbed.

_Because you're a freak, and when he sees that he'll toss you away...remember you're dead to us..where will you go then?_

"I'm not a freak!" I cried, my feet had taken me to my old solace, the play park.

It was quiet as most of the children were in school. I crawled on my knees to the shelter I'd once hid under where I fumbled in my pocket for the pills I had grabbed from the store.

_You're a thief too now boy!_

I sobbed as I fought with the packaging, popped out the little white tablets that would seal my destiny, stop the pain, slay the freak.

_More!_

My hands shook as I threw them back in my mouth, gagging as the chalky substance clogged in my now dry mouth.

Hands shaking, I pushed myself back towards the fort's covering when my hand hit something sharp. It's the head of a broken bottle.

_Cut!_

I shook my head, wiped the childish tears from my face.

_May as well make a good job of it boy!_

"Hey kid, you okay?"

I had no idea where the voice was coming from, my head felt dizzy and my stomach ached.

"Son?"

My head whipped up, maybe they had changed their minds, come to rescue me?

The blurred outline of a young couple with a child in a pushchair came into view as I blinked a few more times.

I sloppily beckoned them with my finger, the man moved forward a little.

"Matt honey, be careful," a soft voice whispered.

"Love him..." I slurred.

"Sorry?"

"No...matter...what!" I panted, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. "Love him."

I grabbed the bottle and with an unknown strength, I sliced like a knife through butter.

I was only vaguely aware of screams as I robotically continued to slash.

Then it all went black.

My stomach felt like it had turned inside out and my throat burned and scratched as I swallowed.

I couldn't be dead, surely I wouldn't feel...anything?

My initial thought was that I couldn't even kill myself properly.

That was until I saw his face.

Unshaven, thin.

Carlisle?

I attempted to say his name, but my lips didn't seem to get the message to move with my thoughts.

His eyes lifted as though they had heard my silent plea.

His whole face lit up as he frantically called out in shock, bringing more voices, more people to flood the room.

_No! Wait! I want him...just him!_

Then I saw Emmett and my fogged up brain began to kick in, _I'm in hospital._

_I'm alive..._

_He is here...waiting for me!_

_He does care about me!_

**CPOV**

I hadn't slept in three days, on the plus side... no nightmares.

I didn't think I could cope with one when he was so close, yet unable to be touched or to be held.

Emmett had been amazing, he had worked around my shifts so no one had become suspicious of me being in his room.

His eyes had fluttered a few times, since the medication had been stopped to bring him back.

Back to me...

I knew as a doctor it was just REM.

I sat exhausted, both physically and mentally, trying to rack my brains to what would have made him do this to himself.

I had looked into those forest green eyes so many times that I was seeing them open, even when they were not.

I sighed and laid my head on his arm, being careful not to touch his bandaged wrist.

I must have dozed off, as a dark shadow loomed over me, cracking a belt.

"Dirty fucking bastard, you bring that filth into my house...God's house!" I heard my father yell.

I brought my hands over my head to shield myself from the brutal thud of the heavy leather belt.

"Father, please, no..." I whimpered.

I looked between my hands at the dark shadowed face above me, his arm poised like a snake ready to attack.

As his arm came down, his body jerked, hands stopped mid attack as the belt was snatched from his hand.

"Leave him alone!" came a scratchy voice.

The image of my father was gone, a bright light shone in its wake.

"Carlisle?" said the same scratchy voice.

"Carlisle?"

I lifted my head, blinked my eyes open and was met with green.

Green, sad, eyes looked back at me, a single tear travelling down a pale cheek.

"Edward?"

He nodded as tears now fell in plenty.

"I'm...sorry," he rasped.

I sat bolt upright, hands on either side of his face as I rubbed his tears away with the pads of my thumbs.

"No, no, no!" I cried as I kissed his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He sobbed harder as he attempted to catch his breath and he coughed and winced.

"Water?."

I nodded as I brought the sponge wand, soaked with water, to his mouth.

Was it wrong that watching his plump lips wrap around and suck the water turned me on?

_Now is not the time or place Carlisle!_I mentally scolded myself.

"Carlisle?"

I shook my head and looked into his worried eyes.

"You were having a nightmare?" he whispered questioningly, knowingly.

I was completely floored, there he was, recovering from a near fatal suicide attempt and all he could do was worry about me.

All sanity thrown to the wind, I crashed my lips to his, less than a moment later he had molded his with mine and a soft moan left his throat.

"Erm...Doc?"

I chuckled at the sound of Emmett's voice, pulling away as I heard Edward whimper.

"Sorry," I whispered in apology.

"Nothing to be sorry about, Carlisle, it's great to see him finally awake."

He peered around me and winked at Edward.

"I was just coming in to say we have all the test results back." He smiled at me.

"Good news?"

Emmett smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "He, Edward, will need to be monitored for a while." I heard Edward take a sharp intake of breath before he started a coughing fit.

I offered him more water from the wand and he smiled.

"Monitored?" His voice was a little less scratchy than it was when he had first woken up.

Emmett moved forward and I moved to Edward's side and held his hand, I knew the side effects of an Aspirin overdose.

"Edward," Emmett started, "there has been some damage to your kidneys, you will have to be monitored for a while."

"I'm sorry," he sniffed.

"Edward..." I wanted so much to talk about what had happened, what had caused it.

"Carlisle...I..."

Emmett cleared his throat. "Doc...erm, Emily will be here in forty minutes to check up on him, okay?"

I nodded and thanked him.

My eyes met Edward's, the usual shine had gone, now they where a mossy green.

"Edward?"

I watched as tears fell down his face, and fell onto his covers.

My hands clasped his as I brought them up to my mouth.

"Tell me, sweet pup." I sighed as I turned his hand in mine and kissed his palms.

Edward took a cleansing breath, and with puffy eyes, leaned into my shoulder.

"He's alive," he sobbed. "I saw them...I'm dead!"

**REM ~ Rapid eye movement.**

**Recs~**

**Simplymatt~ Unconditional, Taming of a Swan, Walk to Remember.**

**Kim Rathbone~ Oh Captain, My Captain**

**texasbella~ To Serve is Divine, Fear of Touch..and many more (TWCS)**

**Simply TwiMum ~ When Sparks Fly.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I love how much everyone has connected with my boys.**  
**I own nothing, I just have an amazing Muse and Pre reader, Simplymatt, and Beta, texasbella.**

** xOxOx**

_**A child is born into this world innocent, knowing nothing of life beyond the womb. They do not know that being gay is a life choice and not a lifestyle, this is just something they have to learn on their own, without a bigoted input!**_

_**A parent's love should be Unconditional...The end.**_

_**Our jobs as parents is to nurture and guide our children into growing up to be confident and loving adults, non judgmental of others, and with the ability to love the skin they are in. Our child listens to us, they hear even our nastiest of tongues, taking this within them to reprocess in their brain, to think in a way it should not be allowed.**_

_**So, when a parent stops becoming the nurturer, and instead becomes the hater, where are these children supposed to turn? THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!**_

_**Words hurt and remember, the first cut is the deepest.**_

_Edward took a cleansing breath, and with puffy eyes, leaned into my shoulder._

"_He's alive," he sobbed. "I saw them...I'm dead!"_

**CPOV**

"Edward...what happened?" I sat beside him on the bed as his eyes flitted around the room, never settling on one thing. I could see his pulse on his neck like a hummingbird's wings.

"Baby...please talk to me." I failed in my attempt to hide my begging tone.

He shook his head.

"Edward please...what happened, why did you do..._this_?" I asked, with a little more authority as I held his bandaged arm up.

He snatched it from my hand and rubbed the gauze with his thumb, his lip trembled as he began to open up.

"I saw them," he said, his voice little more than a breath.

"Them?"

"Them..._him._"

"Your parents?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, his father was _alive_and he had been blaming himself for his death all this time.

Did it never occur to his so-called parents to go looking for the son that ran out of their home with the thought he had killed his father?

He nodded and I saw the beginning of tears drop down his face and onto the sheet.

"Edward, oh my baby." I held him close as he cried, his voice still hoarse from the breathing tube.

"I went to see the principal," he sniffed. "I thought he was acting strange, a little too upbeat when he spoke to me, but I thought nothing of it."

I pulled his hands into mine as he continued, hoping my touch would be enough to help him open up.

"Then I had an hour to kill before you were due to pick me up and I hadn't eaten much at breakfast, so I decided to go to the convenience store to buy something to eat..." His voice broke.

His face aged before me as fissures of tears streamed down his face. I used my thumbs to wipe away the wetness and leant forward to kiss each eyelid, sending blessings to each one that the tears would cleanse his heart and soul.

"That's...that's...when...I...heard the...erm...the cashier talking to my...mom!" he sniffed and laid his head on my shoulder.

"I hid...I hid like a coward, cowering behind the 35 cents specials." Bitterness crept into his voice.

Each word, each phrase played out in my mind's eye, I could see him hiding like a frightened, wounded animal.

"Then the cashier talked to..." His sobs overtook him and he wept silently on my shoulder.

"Did they see you?" I whispered as I pulled his unruly hair from his eyes.

He shook his head. "Not at first...they said they had...no children." His voice was hardly audible on the last two words, but it didn't take an idiot to understand.

My vision hazed red as my fists balled behind his back. _How fucking dare they discard their son like a piece of unwanted trash!_I could feel myself begin to tremble.

"I'm so sorry, baby." I cried softly, holding him impossibly closer.

"He looked right through me...like I was invisible!" he spat.

I pulled his eyes to mine. "Don't let anyone ever make you feel like that again...understood?" I growled, shocked slightly by my own tone.

He nodded, then his eyes lowered.

"I know I should have called you, but you were at work and I got all confused and I just wanted to be dead, to teach them a lesson, to know how it would actually feel to lose a loved one," he cried, wiping his face furiously with the back of his hand.

My whole body froze at the thought of him wanting to be _dead!_How could one so pure wish that upon himself?

"You know what though, Carlisle?"

I shook my head, yes his words shocked me but I was still so proud of him, I could see his life's light beginning to shine through the cuts his parents had made.

"They don't give a fuck, if I lived or died, they wouldn't care about me at all!" He was almost shouting now and man was I turned on.

I mentally scolded myself for another inappropriately timed lustful thought.

"I care," I whispered.

"I know." He cried softly as he laid his head back down.

I had no idea how long we had sat, arms around one another as I slowly rocked him, when his breathing evened out and his body became limp. I laid him back onto the bed, kissed his head and left him to sleep.

I found Emmett stood against the window as he waited for me, outside the room.

"Everything alright, Em?" I asked as he began to pick at the edges of his files.

"Test results are back," he sighed as he tapped his hand with the file.

My stomach flipped, I knew all too well the side effects of such an overdose.

"Not good huh?"

He shrugged as he handed me Edward's folder, tentatively I opened it. I skipped past the jargon down to the results. My hands began to shake as I read on to the next page.

"Dialysis?"

"Carlisle, you know as well as anyone, he will be monitored for his blood levels until we are sure his kidneys are working properly."

I nodded. Of course I knew the procedure, I had explained it to so many patients and families alike.

We talked for a while about Edward's aftercare. Emmett had arranged for him to be released as soon as he was deemed fit enough, the only problem was to whose care was he going to.

His parents legally had to take him back. I knew this even though I hated it.

"Fuck!" I shouted as I threw his file across the hallway.

"Carlisle, you know I would do something if I could." Emmett sighed heavily as he picked up the scattered papers.

"I can't let him go back there," I snapped

"You have no choice!"

"I'll go see them, tell them they need not bother about him, that there is somewhere he can go, somewhere he would be loved." I wiped a lone tear fiercely from my cheek.

"Do you think Edward would approve?"

He was right. Edward would never approve of me fighting his battles for him, but I would let him go back over my dead body.

"I have managed to hold the police off for three days but they want answers," Emmett said once he'd gathered up the spilt file. "I know you don't want to hear it, but you can't forget about protocol."

I'd had enough, I wanted to get back into my sleeping angel.

"Do what you have to do, Em." I shrugged as I walked back towards the door.

"I'm sorry Carlisle, you know I would do anything for you, you're my angel's family," Emmett whispered.

I nodded, I knew it was unfair to take it out on him, I owed him so much for the past few days.

"Sorry Em," I sighed as I shut the door behind me, unable to muster any more words for him at the moment.

EPOV

I woke to the sound of angry voices from somewhere outside, I couldn't fully hear what was being said, or who was talking, but I strained my ears to try and hear some remnants of the conversation.

Then the door opened and I heard Carlisle apologising to Emmett.

_Was that Emmett and Carlisle shouting?_

I didn't understand.

_What could be causing two close friends to speak in raised voices, what was it that they both disagreed on?_

"Carlisle?" The words vibrated through my throat like a thousand stabbing blades, each cutting their way through me.

His face looked up to me, he looked so tired, the worry lines across his perfect features looked so out of place. _Were these lines caused because of me, was my crap hurting him so badly?_

"Don't worry about it, Edward, baby." He smiled at me.._.baby?..._my stomach flipped.

"P...please?" I swallowed and winced as my dry throat burned again, he was beside me in seconds, handing me a glass of water.

"The police..." he started as he sat on the edge of my bed, he turned my hand round in his and kissed my dressed wrist.

"Police?" My heart began to beat erratically, sending the machines into overdrive.

"Edward," he cooed as he stroked his hand down my cheek, I leant into his palm as I relished his touch but I couldn't stop the panic that rising.

"You...c...alled...the...p...olice?" I stuttered.

He shook his head furiously, "No baby, listen Edward, when people are brought into the ER under your circumstances, the police are always notified. And with you being a minor..." he explained, never relinquishing his touch, "even if it hadn't of been this severe, they would have had to call the police."

"My parents?" _Oh god please no, they didn't call my parents?_

He didn't speak, his eyes looked to my dressed wrist as he played with the loose ends of the gauze with his fingers.

"Carlisle?" I pulled his face up, so his eyes met mine, "talk to me, please."

"You're a minor baby, you have to.." his voice broke, but I knew what he was going to say.

He was about to put an age restriction on the feelings I knew he had for me, something I could tell he was fighting.

"I...I...no, please," I begged as I grasped at his hands with mine.

"Edward, my hands are tied, I'm sorry baby." He held my face in his hands whilst fresh tears flowed.

I couldn't believe my ears, I was so close to finally being happy, and here he was telling me that my parents were coming to cause me all the shit! They didn't care about me, not like he...

Carlisle pulled me close and held onto me as if our lives depended on it, an embrace I hoped nobody could break.

"I'm not leaving you, I've just found you baby, please trust me. I _will_fight for you."

At his words I could feel my heart stop beating for a moment. He wanted to fight...for _me_!

"Please," I begged as I held on tighter, my hands fisting his shirt as I held onto him.

My heart panged as our embrace was cut short by a mixture of approaching voices, walking by the window of my room.

I froze as I recognised one of them.

"Of course, officer. I'll take him right home and give him the care he deserves. His father and I have been so worried about him."

I looked into Carlisle's face as my body filled with dread.


	13. Chapter 13

**Wow I am amazed by the reviews to this story, I love each and every one of them.**

**Major love to my muse and pre reader Simplymatt and of course to my beloved Beta texasbella.**

**Flove you hard guys.**

**Again I don't own, I just play.**

**The tongue like a sharp knife...Kills without drawing blood.**  
**Buddha.**

**CPOV**

A friend once told me, that to find out how much you truly love someone, you should let them go, that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I laughed at that friend, yet there I was with my heart breaking.

A small part of me was glad that Paul had been with Alec when they died, because I don't think I could have watched my uncle try and survive without him, however selfish that may sound.

It had been twelve hours since Edward had left with his parents, 12 hours, 17 minutes and 15 seconds to be precise.

I was dying inside, I hadn't eaten, shaved or even left my study since I had arrived home from the hospital.

That invisible thread that had once bound me to him was no longer there, and I had never felt so alone. Too scared to sleep, I had been drinking coffee and popping pills, stupid I know, especially after what had happened to _him._.._My Edward_.

I looked at my watch and it was a little after three in the morning, I hoped even if they didn't love him, they would at least check on him during the night. They wouldn't be able to slip up, for all intents and purposes they had played the ever loving parents, they would have to play their part with meticulous precision... for the public eye at least.

My phone buzzed again for the hundredth time. I knew I should really answer my texts, I knew they were from Emmett and Alice making sure I was still here, still alive. I hadn't said a word to either of them when I left the hospital.

My stomach groaned at the protest of being ignored, my mind played cruel tricks telling me this was how Edward had felt when he was alone. _He's still alone,_ I thought to myself.

_Buzzz..._

_Buzzz..._

I reached out to answer my phone, knowing I must let them know I was at least alive.

"Hello." My voice sounded alien to me, raspy and hollow.

….

"Hello?"

….

I looked at the caller ID, it was a number I didn't recognise, and I had no patience to wait for whoever it was to answer, so I snapped my phone shut and threw it onto my desk.

The next time it buzzed to tell me I had a message.

"Please leave me alone!" I whispered as I reached out to read it.

_**Anyone there?**_

I read and reread those two words...Edward?

I texted him the only message I could think of, and my hands shook as my fingers automatically hit the right buttons.

**Yes I'm here.**

I took a sip of my lukewarm coffee and waited, staring into my phone, willing it to buzz.

After what seemed like a lifelong wait, it finally buzzed again.

_**I'm scared.**_

I didn't need to ask what he was scared of, I knew, because I was scared too.

_buzzz..._

My phone buzzed again, but before I had time to answer the message I saw before me made my blood run cold.

_**I'm scared I'm going to hurt myself.**_

I had slipped into a nightmare, a carbon copy of our first conversation, only this time I loved the boy on the other side of the message. He wasn't a faceless victim. He was a bronze haired, green eyed boy who had stolen my heart.

My hands trembled as I typed furiously, there was no way I was going to lose him.

**DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!...I LOVE YOU!**

My vision blurred as I hit send, this had been the first time I had cried since he had left and I let go, purged the hurt and anger from my body as I keened, head in hands, crouched over my desk.

My phone buzzed and I scrambled to answer it.

_**I love you too, but I'm so scared.**_

**I'm scared too...**

I thought letting him know he wasn't the only one scared may help him.

_**Why are you scared?**_

Was he serious?

**I'm scared of losing you, I'm scared of closing my eyes because you aren't here to pull me from the dark abyss of my nightmares, I'm scared I won't be enough, I'm scared of being too damaged for you, do you want me to continue?**

I laughed softly to myself as I poured my heart into a text.

_**I love you too, I need you so much right now.**_

The fact that I had it there, in writing that he felt the same way, sent a flow of burning energy through me, and I felt the pull of the once severed invisible thread that bound us together.

My phone buzzed.

_**Do you feel that?**_

My brow furrowed as I traced the words with my finger, _surely not?_

"He can't," I whispered to myself. "Impossible."

**Feel what?**

_**The pull?**_

My heart missed a beat, he HAD felt it too.

**Yes.**

_**I love you.**_

**I love you, too. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere baby x**

I placed my phone in my pocket and made my way to the bathroom, as I touched the handle of the door, my mind flashed back to my nightmare.

I could see myself, it was like I was having an out of body experience.

I had woken drenched in sweat, I saw myself bring back the contents of my stomach then turn on the shower.

Then a glazed expression I had seen on Edward's face, came over mine.

I was having an 'episode'.

I couldn't hear what was being said as I watched it play out like a bad home movie, then he arrived, comforted me...

"Oh God!" I whispered as I watched my assault on him.

My knuckles whitened as I held onto the door handle, watching Edward push me off. _Why hadn't he said something?_

I was brought back from my memory by the buzz of my phone.

**Please call me, Alice is beside herself with worry~Em**

I sighed and felt a pang of guilt from the feeling of disappointment that it wasn't Edward.

I hit speed dial and waited for the verbal assault that would ensue from my pint sized girl.

"_Hi,"_ came a quiet voice.

"Ali...I'm s..."

"_It's okay, we understand, I...we were just so worried,"_ her voice cracked.

"Alice, baby, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to ignore yours and Emmett's texts."

"_Yes it was,"_ she admonished. "_But we understand, how are you...coping?"_

She knew me all too well and I sighed for causing her so much worry.

"I'm coping," I whispered. "Just."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Actually yes, I want to organise Edward's birthday, it's in three days."

"_Carlisle?"_

"Yes?"

"_What if he isnt there in three days?"_

"He will be," I said with a little more bitterness than intended.

"_Okay, what do you need?"_

My girl was amazing, she never once doubted my statement that he would indeed be..._home_...in three days.

**EPOV**

I sat and watched the rain fall onto the window, the glass a reflection of my own face, as tears of joy fell.

He loved me...

He felt the pull...

I had never believed in fate, but now I did, we were meant to find one another, heal one another, LOVE one another.

My parents hadn't said a word to me since I had gotten home, my father hadn't even looked at me. I didn't need showing to my room, so they'd just left me to it as I had to almost crawl upstairs in pain and exhaustion.

I'd written him a million texts, before I finally settled on the one I knew I should send, a reflection of our first conversation, when some unknown force had led me to ask that question...

Anyone there?

Then he had professed his love for me, and I felt it, the pull that I had felt when I'd been close to him.

And he had felt it too!

My door creaked as it opened slowly, I closed my eyes quickly and hid my phone under my pillow, the clink of a glass and plate told me at least I was going to be fed.

"You fucked up big time didn't you? Not only did you fail as a man, but you even failed trying to kill yourself, we should have left you in the hospital to rot!"

My head was brought back with a crack as my father grabbed a fistful of my hair.

I felt the pull again...

"Fuck you," I spat.

My head resonated from the blow, and my stomach heaved from the stabbing pain that shot through my body.

"Get the fuck out!" he shouted in my face as I crumpled onto my bed.

"I've just been discharged from hospital you idiot!" I hissed.

I saw him raise his hand again.

"Edward...leave the boy be, he's eighteen in a few days, we can put out the trash then," my mother's cold voice filled the room.

With one last slap on the back of my head, they left.

My fists balled, pinpricks of blood seeped through the dressings hat should have been changed by now.

There was no way I was staying in that house any longer. I crawled to my window and with all the energy I had, I began to push it open.

I dropped myself onto the porch roof and allowed my body to fall to the waiting greenery below.

"Fuck," I hissed as a thin branch tore through my shirt into my side.

I felt around in my pocket for my phone, then remembered it was under my pillow.

"Fuck!" I yelled and it echoed in the darkness.

How the hell was I going to find him, let him know I was okay?

** pov**

I heard a thud, _What the hell was it doing now? _

I marched upstairs, ready to give _it _another hiding, but when I opened the door I laughed.

"Fuck up," I chuckled. "Not our problem anymore!"

I was about to leave when I heard the buzz of a phone. I found it under the pillow, a text message?

**Baby, you okay? You went quiet ~ C x**

I dropped the phone as though it carried some sort of disease.

"Dirty fucker..."

Pushing the sleeves of my shirt over my hands, I picked it back up and typed my reply.

**I hate you...It's all your fault!**

I chuckled as I tossed the offending phone onto the floor and crushed it with the heel of my boot.


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay because I love you you get 2 updates in 2 days 3.**

**I'm so thrilled everyone is still with me after all I am putting my boys through, I love my angst and don't think a HEA is something that comes easy, you have to fight for it.**  
**I own nothing, I just play.**  
**Thanks to my amazing pre reader and muse, Simplymatt, and my wonderful beta, texasbella.**  
**_**

**Love is hard, there are no easy ways in love,**

**It happens when you least expect it,**

**You have no power against whom you will fall in love with.**

**It turns your world upside down,**

**Yet we crave it more than anything.**

**To be loved is the ultimate treasure and the ultimate sacrifice,**

**The more you give, the more you have to gain,**

**Yet if you don't take that chance you have more to lose,**

**If you're not willing to fight for it,**

**Then there was nothing worth fighting for.**

**CPOV **

I paced my study and looked at my phone as many times as there were minutes, I willed it to beep, it had gone too quiet.

Maybe he had fallen asleep, he did need his rest.

My gut instinct told me, however, that something was wrong, very wrong. So I texted him again.

**Baby, you okay? You went quiet ~ C x**

I waited for a reply.

Nothing.

Maybe he had fallen asleep?

My phone buzzed, making me jump.

**I hate you...It's all your fault!**

I read and reread the text, a piece of my heart being stripped away with every vowel, every consonant of the harsh reality...

It was over!

My knees buckled as I fell to the floor, arms wrapped around my breaking body.

I heard a keening sound, like a wounded animal.

Then I remembered I was the only one in the house, I realised that the sound was coming from me.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to be dragged into the abyss of sleep.

Those nightmares I knew, those nightmares I could cope with.

Then there was this new one that had just engulfed my life...

I would never survive this one.

As shadows crossed my eyelids, I waited for the imagery to consume me.

_My legs screamed as I began to run, as far away from him as possible._

_Rain lashed my face as I fought, almost blindly, across the estate._

_What the hell had happened?_

_How had my life been turned so dramatically on its axis?_

_I wasn't ready to come out yet, I knew what my father's response would be, but my mother?_

_Tears were now mixing with the icy rain as I stopped and looked back._

_Where was I going to go?_

_I had no one._

_I slid down the wall of a nearby house and sobbed._

_What was going to happen to me?_

_Should I go to the authorities? _

_My parents would probably say I ran away, and I should be put into the system._

_My stomach growled and I looked at my watch._

_I was really hungry and my clothes were now stuck to me, weighing down my body._

_Then I remembered my father saying he had a brother, 'the black sheep' he called him._

_He lived across town somewhere._

_Maybe he would take me in, maybe he wouldn't care what I was._

_A freak!_

_I remember my father said his name once...Aled?...Alfie?..._

_Alec!_

_I scrambled to the nearest phone booth, by now my ribs were screaming at me in disputed rage._

"_Alec Cullen, Alec Cullen," I whispered, almost as if it was a mantra while my fingers traced down the C's of the phone book._

_There were three A Cullens, all in close proximity._

_Pulling together what change I had, I had enough for two phone calls._

_Which ones to choose? Knowing my luck after tonight, I will choose the wrong two._

_I pushed in my 25 cents and crossed my fingers._

"_Hello?"_

"_Uncle Alec?" I said, with my feeble attempt to keep my voice level._

"_I'm sorry son, I have no siblings."_

_Hanging up, I tried again._

"_Please, please," I whispered over the dial tone as my aching fingers pushed the last of my money into the slot._

"_Hello, Cullen residence," a cheery voice answered._

"_Uncle Alec...please, it's me...Carlisle?"_

"_One moment young man."_

_The phone went silent, and I was about to put the receiver down when a soft voice spoke._

"_Hello, Alec Cullen speaking."_

"_Uncle Alec?"_

"_Carlisle?...Billy...I mean, William's son?"_

_Overwhelmed by the feeling of relief, I nodded and continued to sob into the phone._

"_Oh Jeez, what's he done?"_

"_K...ki...kicked...m...m...me...ou...out," I sobbed._

_His reply was speedy, somehow telling me he...cared._

"_Where are you!"_

_I looked around to see if there was a street sign._

"_C...corner...3rd and Grove," I sniffed as my body trembled violently._

"_Stay put!"_

_The line went dead, folding my arms around me to keep in what little heat I had left, I closed my eyes._

_Would he still want me when he knew?_

_Suddenly I could feel my body been shaken awake..._

"Please...please, Carlisle," Emmett's pleading voice filled my head.

I opened my eyes, puffy and raw from crying, and took in my best friend, his face full of worry and my Alice knelt beside me, crying.

"I'm sorry," I whispered with a hoarse voice.

Emmett helped me from the floor. I felt I'd aged thirty years in a short space of time as my bones creaked.

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

"I know," Alice replied with a small smile.

"He hates m..." I couldn't finish the sentence, I simply pointed to my open phone still lying where I had dropped it.

"You don't really believe he sent this do you?" Emmett laughed as he passed my phone to Alice.

"It's his phone," I spat as I raised a challenging eyebrow.

"No...no...no!" Alice whispered.

"Alice?"

"He loves you, I know he does."

"Obviously not!"

"Will you just STOP self doubting yourself! You are an amazing, caring man!" She cupped my face in her hands and forced me to look at her. "What's not to love?"

"But?"

We were disturbed by the ringing of my house phone, I gestured to Emmett to answer it.

**EPOV**

I made it to the only place I could think of, the play park!

Pushing myself back under the wooden fort, I wished I had thought it through better.

I hadn't grabbed my phone, clothes...nothing!

My knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them and cried...

"Ahh! Gerroff me!" a voice sounded above me.

"Grab his legs, lets get this worm's pants off," another voice laughed while speaking.

"Please no...oh god, no don't!" he cried again.

"Enough," I whispered to myself.

I pulled myself out from my hiding place, scaring the assailants.

"Leave him the fuck alone!" I shouted, squaring up to the largest boy.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm going to be the one to rip your fucking head off and shove it up your ass if you don't leave him alone!" I purposely showed off my bandaged arms.

"Fuck this, he's a nutter," the smaller of the two spat as he grabbed his friend.

I looked at the small figure crouched on the wooden slats of the bridge.

"Hey, you ok?"

The figure nodded, then shook his head.

"I'm lost."

"Me too," I whispered and sat down on the cold sand.

I felt him move closer and finally he sat beside me. _Jesus, he was just a kid!_

"How old are you?"

"Why?" he snapped.

"Because I just saved your ass, and I asked?" _He had attitude,_I smiled to myself.

"Twelve...nearly thirteen."

"What the hell are you doing out here?"

"I ran away." He sighed.

"Me too."

He looked up at me, his dark brown eyes shining in the moonlight. "Really?"

"Yeah." I shivered as I pulled up the collar of my shirt.

"You don't look too good," he whispered as he moved and sat in front of me.

I shrugged, I felt like shit, my heart was attempting to escape out of my chest, my mouth was dry and my wrists stung.

"You sleep in there?" he asked, pointing to my makeshift shelter.

"Yeah."

"Can...can I stay here?" he asked quietly. "Just...for tonight?"

"Sure, what's your name?"

"Why?"

"I don't know, do want me to call you kid?"

"NO!" he shouted "That's what _he_called me."

_Oh shit!_

"Your father?" I guessed.

He nodded.

"He's the reason why you ran away?"

He nodded.

"Me too."

He smiled a small smile as he crawled into the space behind me.

He yawned and pushed his hands under his head.

"Jasper."

"Edward," I whispered back.

**JPOV**

I didn't have a clue where I was running to, when these guys came up behind me and made the decision for me as they dragged me into a park.

I fought as hard as I could. I was used to fighting, but these guys were strong. I didn't want to imagine what they would have done if Edward hadn't appeared from the dark.

I watched him huddled in a small space, his face covered in sweat like he'd been running.

Only he hadn't, and he started to mutter under his breath.

I had noticed his wrists when he had squared up to those guys, had he tried to kill himself?

Was he dangerous?

The sun was now peeking through the slats of the wooden fort so I eased out from behind him and decided I needed to help him, but how?

**CPOV**

It was now over 20 hours since I had held him in my arms, kissed his cherry lips, felt the pull.

Alice had forced breakfast down me, while Emmett had phoned the hospital and sorted out some much needed vacation time for both of us.

This had all happened after a phone call from the police to say he was missing.

His parents...I laughed at that thought...the people who gave him life...had phoned in to say he had run away, and they didn't want anything to do with him.

The police had phoned to see if he had showed up here. _Why would he?_

"Phoned all the hospitals, no sign," Emmett huffed as he threw himself onto the chair beside me.

"Did you talk to the police?" I asked, tracing my finger around my coffee cup.

"Yeah, they'll call as soon as they find him, they don't want to put him into care at almost 18."

"He belongs here," I growled, "with me."

"Carlisle!" Alice shouted from the study.

Both Emmett and I looked at one another confused as we made our way into the room.

Alice was stood in front of the computer, her eyes fixed on the screen.

"I think you need to see this?"

We made our way round to the front of my desk, the chat line was up and a message was flashing.

_**Anyone there?**_

**Okay don't kill me for leaving it there...**  
**Recs:**

**Simplymatt**  
**Arc Morpheus**  
**texasbella**  
**TrueEnglishRose**  
**TexasRoseFanfiction**  
**Simply TwiMum**  
**Kim Rathbone**  
**Mrs Agget**


	15. Chapter 15

**I am totally blown away by all the amazing reviews from this story.**  
**I can't believe how everyone has followed me on this roller coaster of a ride for my two boys.**  
**Much love to my muse and pre reader, Simplymatt xxx**  
**Major love to my Beta, texasbella.**  
**You guys have helped me make my writing what it is today xx**

**A wise man once asked, what is better?**

**Being given something on a silver platter, **

**Or earning the right by fighting for it?**

**I will fight for anything, because EVERYTHING is worth fighting for.**

**CPOV**

_**Anyone there?**_

My heart pounded in my chest...Edward?

As I sat and typed his name, my hands trembled over the keys. I chanted a mantra in my head, a silent prayer as I hung on to a little hope.

_Please let it be Edward, Please let it be Edward._

**Edward?**

My fingers typed his name, almost willing it to be him.

_**Erm...no.**_

"Fuck!" I snapped as I laid my head against the back of my chair, as disappointment consumed me.

I sighed and took a deep breath. _Carlisle,_ I mentally berated myself, _Someone needs your help, HE would want you to help them._

**I'm sorry, I'm glad you came to me. How can I help you?**

A lump formed in my throat as my hopes were dashed. _Where was he?_

I closed my eyes, sad green orbs floated behind my eyelids.

_**You know Edward?**_

"Carlisle?" Emmett gasped as he shook my shoulder.

"It can't be the same Edward, what are the chances?"

"Ask him," Alice whispered as she stroked my arm.

**I know an Edward yes, is Edward with you?**

The reply hit my screen within seconds.

_**No, but I saw him last night. He saved me from some guys.**_

I smiled at the thought of _my _Edward helping another, even when he was going through so much himself.

"It has to be him," Alice giggled.

"How can you be so sure?" Emmett sighed.

"I just know, I don't know how, I just do!"

**Where are you, are you okay now?**

I was worried about Edward, but this kid wasn't contacting me because of Edward, he needed help too and I needed to give him that.

_**I'm in Port Angeles, I don't want to go home. Please don't make me.**_

I sighed, how many more kids were there out there...alone?

With thoughts of the possibility of finding Edward pushed to the side, I focused on the child calling out to me now. I knew he would want me to help this boy...or maybe girl?

**What is your name?**

_**Why?**_

I chuckled softly to myself.

"What's so funny?" Emmett inquired as he took a seat on the edge of my desk.

"This is how Edward and I started, he was just as stubborn."

**I can't help you if I don't know your name, and I have to fill out boring ass paperwork too.**

_**Lol Sux to be you.**_

"Yep, definitely a teenager!" Emmett laughed.

**Tell me about it.**

I waited as I saw the writing symbol show in the chat box.

_**Jasper**_

**Hello Jasper, would you tell me how old you are?**

Nothing...

So I tried a different approach, he didn't seem suicidal or depressed, just scared.

**What's your favourite flavour of Ice cream?**

_**Huh?**_

**Ice cream, flavour?**

_**Chocolate.**_

"Ooh, he has good taste," laughed Emmett.

**So Jasper, have you been on the streets long?**

_**No, and I'm scared. I told Edward I would only stay with him last night.**_

Maybe he would be able to help me find him, if he was indeed talking about _my_ Edward?

**Where did you stay with him last night Jasper?**

_**Why? Are you going to hurt him?**_

Bile rose up into my throat, how could he even think I would hurt him?

Wait, he didn't know me, he didn't know _us._

**I would never hurt Edward, please believe me.**

_**Okay, you seem cool enough.**_

"See, I'm cool," I chuckled as I slapped Emmett's leg, who had all but fallen off the edge of my desk as he laughed at his comment.

**Thank you for trusting me.**

_**It's cool, besides I'm worried about him, he was really cool and brave but he's sick I think, I saw the blood.**_

The control that had kept my breakfast down so far, crumbled as I ran from the room and just made it to the kitchen sink in time.

I splashed my face with cold water, mentally chastising myself for not getting control over my bodily functions and running from my computer, away from a kid in need.

"You okay Uncle C?"

I smiled and nodded as I rinsed my mouth out with water. "I will be, babygirl." I kissed Alice's forehead and took her hand as we walked back into my study.

"Sorry," I apologised to Emmett.

"No foul Doc, you are doing so well. If it was Alice out there..." his voice broke as he shook the dark thought from his head.

"Emmett, don't!" I warned him.

"Sorry," he whispered.

I took a deep breath and began to type.

**Blood?**

_**Yeah, on his wrists, they have bandages on them, but they're kinda dirty with blood on them, and when he was asleep he was sweating, you know like when you run a lot?**_

His dressings, the bastards hadn't even redressed his wrists!

I could feel the hate for them boil up inside my chest.

**Where did you sleep?**

_**In a park.**_

Alice whimpered as she slapped her hand over her mouth. "Carlisle?"

My hands froze, my scalp prickled...It _was_ him, it was _my_ Edward!

**Play park...under a wooden fort? **I typed with hope blooming.

There was a pause for a moment.

_**Yeah, how did you know that?**_

_Because that is where I found my love and lost my heart,_ I thought to myself.

**Is Edward still there?**

_**I don't know, I left him asleep there, should I have stayed with him?**_

**No, it's okay. Don't worry Jasper, you did good. :)**

"Emmett, didn't you ask the police to look there?"

"Yeah, told them that may be the first place he would go."

"Phone them!" I growled.

Emmett nodded and moved to the sofa to phone the police.

**Please, Jasper, let me help you, Edward saved you for a reason.**

_**How can you help me?**_

**I can find you a shelter, someone to talk to, help you.**

_**No you can't, they will just send me back to him.**_

**Him?**

_**My dad.**_

"Oh for fuck's sake! Some people need vetting before becoming parents!" I shouted as I threw my cup across the room.

It was then that I heard Emmett shout down the phone.

"What the fuck do you mean you haven't looked there! That's the first place we told you to look!" he shouted, as his face turned from its normal suntanned skin to red, then to purple.

They hadn't looked there!

He could have been home by now!

Alice giggled, I was about to snap at her when I realised I had risen from my chair and she was now typing a message to Jasper.

"Alice?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you laughing at?"

"Jasper just asked me if was I cute."

"Seriously?" Emmett snapped.

"Boo, don't worry, he's twelve," she chuckled.

TWELVE!

"Jeez, poor kid," Emmett sighed as he placed the phone on the arm of the sofa.

"They're getting younger," I groaned, rubbing my temple.

The shrill ring of my phone made us all jump.

Emmett tossed it to me, and with trembling hands I pressed the button.

"Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes?" My mouth was suddenly dry.

"We've found him."

My heart stuttered and my breath caught in my chest.

"Is he?" I slumped down onto the chair, I couldn't finish the question.

I felt a large hand prise my fingers open as Emmett removed the phone and put it to his ear.

"Hey, this is Dr. McCarty, how is he?"

I watched his features carefully for any signs of distress.

"I understand, thank you." He sighed.

"Emmett?"

**EPOV**

I stayed as alert as I could until his breathing had evened out, _poor kid_.

Alone at twelve.

I pulled my hoodie further around my shoulders, my wrists stung as the healing tissue pulled on the now dirty bandage.

_Carlisle...where are you?_ I cried in my head.

"I love you," I whispered into the quiet night.

I woke with a start and turned to the now empty space that Jasper had occupied. I only hoped he had found someone to take him in.

My head pounded and sweat poured down my back, yet I felt I had been doused in ice water.

I fumbled around in my pocket for my cell before I remembered I had left it in the house.

"Fuck!"

Too tired to stand, I crawled out of the shelter that had once again become my home.

I attempted to stand, but my legs gave way.

Two arms stopped me from connecting with the sand.

"Edward?"

My head snapped up, which caused my neck to crack.

"Edward Masen?"

I nodded.

"Mike, phone Dr. Cullen, we've found him." I heard the nasally voice say.

"Carlisle?" I whispered, as I fought to keep my eyes open.

"Can you walk?"

I shrugged.

"Here son, I'll help you get to the car, then we'll take you up to the hospital to get looked at."

I shook my head violently.

"Not going back there!" I rasped.

"Sorry, it's procedure."

"Take me to Carlisle, Dr. Cullen," I demanded breathlessly.

"Mike, you still got the doc on the phone?"

"Yeah," the man I presumed to be Mike answered.

"Ask him if he wants the kid at his, tell him he is asking to be taken there."

"I'm not a kid," I growled, he chuckled and hoisted his hands around my shoulders.

"Kid, I have a forty year old daughter, everyone under thirty-five is a kid to me."

Despite my fatigue I laughed, Carlisle...was thirty and the thought of him as a kid!

I must have fallen asleep in the car, as I was jolted awake as a door slammed.

"Edward?"

I slowly opened my eyes, the officer was stood in the doorway, his hands on the vacant seat beside me.

"Come on, son, we're here." He smiled as he helped me from the car.

My body was so physically and mentally tired that I barely made it to the front door of the large town house.

The officer knocked on the door as I leaned into him for support.

The lock clicked...

The door opened...

His face, I had been blind the first time I had seen him, because looking at him now was like the first time.

He cleared his throat as he stood back to allow the officer to pull me inside the house.

I wanted to fall into his arms, I wanted to lay beside him.

I wanted everything from him, and to give him everything.

He cleared his throat again, his eyes glistened with unused tears.

"Doctor McCarty and myself will take him upstairs, thank you so much for finding him officer," he said, his voice little more than a whisper.

I felt my weight shift, as hands the size of paws lifted me from the floor.

"I got ya," Emmett whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

I closed my eyes as he carried me upstairs, but instead of turning left at the top, he turned right.

He opened the door to the room and placed me on the bed, the scent unfurled from the sheets and wrapped me in a security blanket.

Eyes still closed, I felt the bed dip beside me.

"Am I dreaming?" I whispered.

"No baby..." his voice said in shallow breaths. "You're home."

I heard the click and buzz of a speaker before music started.

And the sweetest voice I had ever heard sang beside me.

_I can't fight this feeling any longer_  
_And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow_  
_What started out as friendship_  
_Has grown stronger_  
_I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

_I tell myself that I can't hold out forever_  
_I said there is no reason for my fear_  
_'Cause I feel so secure when we're together_  
_You give my life direction_  
_You make everything so clear_

_And even as I wander_  
_I'm keeping you in sight_  
_You're a candle in the window_  
_On a cold, dark winter's night_  
_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might_

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore_  
_I've forgotten what I started fighting for_  
_It's time to bring this ship into the shore_  
_And throw away the oars, forever_

_'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore_  
_I've forgotten what I started fighting for_  
_And if I have to crawl upon the floor_  
_Come crashing through your door_  
_Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you_  
_I've been running round in circles in my mind_  
_And it always seems that I'm following you, boy (girl)_  
_'Cause you take me to the places_  
_That alone I'd never find_

_And even as I wander_  
_I'm keeping you in sight_  
_You're a candle in the wind_  
_On a cold, dark winter's night_  
_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might_

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore_  
_I've forgotten what I started fighting for_  
_It's time to bring this ship into the shore_  
_And throw away the oars, forever_

_'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore_  
_I've forgotten what I started fighting for_  
_And if I have to crawl upon the floor_  
_Come crashing through your door_  
_Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore_

"I love you," I whispered.

"So so much," came the soft reply as his lips touched mine.

_

watch?v=w9UBv0pdeLc&feature=g-hist Carlisles song.

**PHEW, YEAH THAT WAS A LITTLE HARDER TO WRITE THAN SOME...**  
**HOPE YOU LOVE IT.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Taking a big sigh of relief our boys are reunited.**  
**Thanks to my pre reader Simplymatt and to my newest pre reader Mrs Agget for jumping on board too. Much love to my amazing beta texasbella xx**

**CPOV**

_He's here...He's home._

I said this to myself over and over in my head as I closed the door behind the officer, after promising him I would keep him informed over Edward's recovery.

I stood with my back against the door as I watched Emmett's huge frame carry my boy...no, my Man upstairs.

His face was pallid and his dressings dirty, making me feel hatred for his so-called 'parents,' I felt anger boil up inside of me.

I shook my head knowing that, that was not what he needed from me right now.

_What does he want?_

_Didn't he say he hated me? _

_That this was all my fault?_

So why had he asked to be brought here instead of the hospital? I know he didn't like them, but surely if he hated me that much it would have been the lesser of two evils.

I took a long deep breath, I had to tell him how I really felt... then the ball was in his court, the choice would be _his_to make.

I would care for him until he was strong enough, help him to get his own place when he was ready to leave.

He wouldn't be ready for a deep conversation, so I had to decide on another way to tell him, that's when I heard it...

_I can't fight this feeling any longer..._

"Hey baby, yeah he's here, I'll ask Carlisle." I turned to see a smiling Emmett, his phone to his ear.

"Carlisle, Alice wants to know if you need anything picked up from the pharmacy whilst she's at the store?"

I shook my head. "I'm good thanks, I have everything I need but can she pick up some Gatorade, cherry if possible?"

"Did you hear that baby?" Emmett smiled. "Okay, see you in a while."

"Emmett, the ring tone what is it?"

I couldn't help laugh when his cheeks tinged a rosy red.

"Erm...it's kind of our song, Alice found it when I was still fighting my feelings for her." He shrugged.

It was perfect, I found it on iTunes and quickly downloaded it onto my iPod, then made my way to tell the love of my life how I felt.

His eyes were closed as I entered my room, he looked at home in my bed, hopefully soon to be our bed. He smiled as I sat on the edge carefully so not to disturb him too much.

"Am I dreaming?" he whispered.

"No baby..." the words came out in small breaths, "You're home."

Then I clicked on the ipod and I sang to him. I opened my heart and soul to him. I had never felt so naked and vulnerable in my life, but he was worth it.

I caught a lone tear on the pad of my thumb as it fell from his closed eyes, I placed it against my mouth and kissed it.

"I love you," he whispered.

My heart thudded in my chest, he loved me, he was mine.

"So so much," I replied as my lips touched his.

He moaned as our lips moulded together. This felt right...it also felt familiar, like I'd kissed him like this before.

"Mm baby," I whimpered as he attempted to deepen our kiss. "Let me care for you, your dressings need to be changed."

I pulled back to see his face better, he pouted the cutest pout, his cherry lips puckered and I leant down and kissed them again and again. Jeez, I was never going to get tired of the way my lips felt on his.

"Baby?" I chuckled as I stood to get the things I needed.

He pushed himself up on _my_ pillows, on _my_ bed...in _my_room. Our mingled scents danced around the room like a welcoming evening breeze, I smiled to myself as I sat back onto the bed.

"You look good in my bed," I choked as I felt my cheeks burn.

"I did wonder, Emmett turned left instead of right at the top of the stairs," he chuckled.

"You don't mind, I mean if you felt more comfortable in your old room?" I hadn't thought of that when I had requested Emmett put him in my room, maybe he wasn't ready. I was just so relieved to have him home with me.

"Baby, there is nowhere I would rather be right now," he smiled as he put his hand on mine.

"The text?"

His eyes narrowed. "Text?"

I opened my phone and showed him the text that had broken my heart, his eyes widened.

"Bastard!" he hissed.

"Baby?"

"Carlisle, I promise you, I never sent this. Oh my god, what you must have thought?" his voice cracked as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Ssh, ssh baby it doesn't matter now, you're here." I kissed his cheek and smoothed away his frown lines from his perfect brow.

"Now lay back and let me look after you," I said with as much authority as I could muster, he huffed and laid back as I re-dressed his wrists, his scars now an angry red because of the neglect. I took his temperature and found it to be a little high so I gave him something to bring it down before telling him he had to drink plenty of fluids. By the time I arrived back with a cold bottle of water he was asleep, his soft snores a lullaby to my ears.

He was lying half in half out of the covers, I ached to join him, to pull him close to my chest and wake up with him curled into my side in the morning, but Emmett was downstairs and I'm sure Alice would be back soon from the store. I leant over and kissed his chest over his heart, then one over each eyelid and finally his soft lips.

"Mmm tesoro," he mumbled. _Did he just speak Italian to me?_That was something I would have to ask him in the morning.

"Sweet dreams, baby." I smiled before I left him

Heated voices rose from the kitchen as I made my way downstairs.

"Baby, we don't know where he is, he could be anywhere by now," Emmett sighed.

"Boo, please can we at least look, please," Alice begged and I knew she would be giving him the doe eyes even though I couldn't see her.

"Ali?"

"Please, Emmett?" she begged.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

"No, sorry. It's fine." Emmett turned from us and made his way onto the back patio.

"Alice?" I quirked an eyebrow, it was very rare I heard them have a disagreement, so I knew it was important to both of them.

"Carlisle, I don't understand. I just want to find him."

"Find who?"

"Jasper."

"Ahh and Emmett is against that?"

Her head snapped up to me. "No, oh god no, you know what Emmett is like, it's just..."

"Its just you want to take Jasper in and Emmett is not going for it, am I right?" I laughed softly, I knew these two as if they were my own kin.

Alice exhaled and nodded.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and pulled her close. "He's scared," she whispered.

"Ali, you know his past, wouldn't you be scared too?"

She shrugged. So stubborn, I thought to myself, so much like her father, my uncle.

"Ali?" I said sternly.

"I guess, but he isn't his father Carlisle, he's so soft and gentle and has the biggest heart, he would make an amazing father."

"I know that...you know that, but he's scared of letting you down and letting Jasper down, for whatever reason Jasper has run, he needs a stable home and Em is scared he can't give him that."

"But he..."

I stopped her, pulling her round to face me, "You had the two most amazing fathers, Alice. Emmett didn't, he had a mother who drank and a father who slapped her around, he's..."

"Scared," a soft voice interrupted me, we turned to see Emmett leaning against the doorframe.

Alice pulled away before running into his arms. "Emmett Logan McCarty you are NOT your father, you are an amazing caring man, with a heart of gold and you would make anyone a fantastic father." She whispered the last part as he held her tight.

He exhaled before chuckling. "Okay baby, lets go find him." He smiled.

"Really?"

Emmett nodded. "Will you help us Carlisle, please?"

I walked towards them and grabbed his free hand. "I would be honoured."

tesoro~ Sweetheart.


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry ****for ****such ****a ****late ****update****. ****None ****of ****my ****characters ****were ****talking ****to ****me****.**

**Huge ****thanks ****to ****my ****pre ****reader and muse ****SimplyMatt ****and ****my ****beta ****Mrs****. ****Agget****.**

**I ****own ****nothing****.**

**JPOV**

The rain was coming down heavy as I left the library. I had a good feeling that the Doc would find Edward and he would be safe. I hope I am found by someone as caring. Alice would be nice, and her partner Emmett. They seemed so cool.

I pulled the collar of my jacket further around my neck as I made my way through the darkening streets back to the park. If he was still there, I would be able to tell him I spoke to the Doc. If not, at least I would have somewhere to hide for the night. Even though the weather was bad, there were still a lot of people milling around the park and doorways to the closed shops.

"Hey cutie, want me to keep you nice and dry?" a cackle erupted from one of the doorways. I didn't stop to find out who or what had spoken to me; I just shook my head and continued to walk.

"Hey kid, got a light?"

"Hey kid, want a drink?"

"Hey you, want to earn fifty bucks?"

"Hey kid?"

"Hey sweetie?"

Voices from every angle beckoned me, and soon I was running to escape the noises of the night. My foot caught on a broken piece of curb and I fell hard onto my knees. I looked up and realised I had no clue where I was. I had just needed to get away from the voices and stupidly not looked where I was heading. Fear crept over my body like I'd been doused in iced water. What was I going to do now?

"Psst."

My head spun around to find a shadowy figure standing about three feet away from me. They looked around my height and build.

"Psst, kid, come here."

I shook my head fiercely as I attempted to right myself in ready to take flight if the figure moved an inch closer towards me.

"Don't run, dude. It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you." As he spoke, he moved from the shadows. He was about my age, maybe a year or so older. His clothes looked two sizes too big as they hung on his wiry frame.

"Who...are...you?" I stuttered.

"Riley."

"You live here, on the streets?"

He nodded and moved slowly towards me, his hands in front of him with his palms facing me.

"Jasper," I whispered. He stopped and cocked his head to the side.

"Pleased to meet you, Jasper. You livin' on the streets? Never seen you around before."

I shook my head then nodded. "Kinda, but I've never been this far out of town. I'm lost."

"Yeah, you look a bit too clean to be from this side of town," he smiled.

A screech of tyres made me jump and Riley's face lost all colour as his eyes widened and then flit around his surroundings.

"Fuck! shit! Quick kid, you better hide! If Sam catches you, you'll never get out of here." He grabbed my arm and pulled it roughly through the doorway he had appeared from.

He pushed me behind some boxes onto a cold, wet floor. "Stay. There. Don't. Move. A. Muscle." he bent down close to my face and the faint smell of tobacco filled my nose. "No matter what you hear, stay here." He pushed on my shoulder to emphasise his words and I nodded.

"Riley!" came a gravely voice, followed by heavy footsteps. "Riley, where the fuck are you, you little piece of shit?!"

There was a shuffle of feet. "Sam, I'm here, and have been all night."

The slap of skin and a muffled cry told me this Sam had slapped Riley across the face. Who the hell was this guy?

"Don't fucking back chat me, boy! Why aren't you in the park?"

"'Cos it's fucking raining and no one goes to the park in this weather. If I get the fucking flu again, I'll be of no use to you!" Riley spat back.

There came a rough laugh that made my skin crawl. "You're a cheeky fucker, kid. It's a good job you're my highest earner. When you gonna let me sample that fine arse of yours?"

Bile rose to my throat. Was he really asking what I thought he was asking? He wanted to...? The thought was too much and my last meal made an alarming reappearance, painting the oily floor in front of me.

"What the fuck was that?" Sam said as his footsteps came closer. He tossed the boxes away in front of me. He was huge, built like a bear with paws for hands that grappled my jacket and pulled me up to his face. His breath was stagnant. It smelled of cheap beer and cigarettes and I was just relieved my stomach was now empty.

"Who. The. Fuck. Are. You?" He hissed as he threw me to the ground. Riley stepped in front of me.

"Leave him, Sam. He just wandered here by accident."

"You getting up in my business Ri? You know what happened last time."

Everything happened at once. Riley threw himself onto Sam and shouted for me to run, so I did. I ran until my legs burned and screamed at me in protest.

Crouched with my hands on my thighs as I attempted to get my breath, guilt rushed over me. I had left Riley with that bastard. Who knew what he was going to do to him after he had let me escape? A tear escaped as I slumped to the ground, not caring it was wet, and I cried. I cried for Riley, I cried for Edward, and I cried that I was so close to becoming yet another statistic we used to read about in Human Studies at school.

My eyes heavy from the night's events, I closed them, knowing my sleep would just be a carbon copy of my day...a nightmare.

"_Jasper__, __where __the __fuck __are __you__? __Did __I __or __did __I __not __ask __you __to __clean __my __car__?"_

"_I __did__."..."__Sir__."_

_Slap__..._

"_That__'__s __for __missing __a __spot__!"_

_Slap__..._

"_That__'__s __for __back __chatting__."_

_Slap__..._

"_That__'__s __for __forgetting __to __call __me __Sir__. __You__'__re __a __pussy__, __Jasper __Hale__, __and __you __need __to __wake __the __fuck __up __and __smell __the __coffee__, __because __the __army __doesn__'__t __like __pussies__. __They __torture __pussies__. __Got __that__?"_

_He __pushed __his __finger __hard __into __my __shoulder __as __he __spoke__, __enunciating __each __word__._

"_Now__, __what __do __you __have __to __say __for __yourself__?"_

"_I__'__m __sorry__, __Sir__. __I__'__m __sorry __you __had __to __show __me __the __error __of __my __ways__, __Sir__. __I __will __try __harder__...__Sir__." __I __knew __the __speech __by __heart__. _

_Mom __said __it __wasn__'__t __his __fault __he __had __seen __things __in __the __East __that __no __man__, __woman__, __or __child __should __ever __have __to __witness __and __he __had __come __home __a __changed __man__._

_That __didn__'__t __help __me __when __he __had __pulled __me __from __my __bike __in __the __middle __of __the __street __because __my __bed __wasn__'__t __made __properly__, __or __when __he __had __walked __into __my __music __class __after __school __to __rant __that __I __was __wasting __my __time __and __to __get __home__._

_I __didn__'__t __want __to __go __into __the __army__. __I __wanted __to __become __a __music __teacher__. __I __wanted __to __make __people __smile__, __not __cower__._

"_Are __you __away __with __the __faeries__a gain__, __boy__?!"_

_I __shook __my __head__, __trying __to __look __like __I __had __heard __every __word__._

"_You__'__re __a __fucking __disgrace__. __No __boy __of __mine __is __going __to __be __a __pussy __music __teacher __with __his __head __in __the __clouds__!" __He __spat __as __he __pushed __me __harder__. __It __was __only __a __matter __of __time __before __I __snapped__...__right__?_

_I __had __no __clue __where __it __came __from__, __but __I __pushed __back__, __again __and __again __until __his __knees __hit __the __coffee __table __and __he __lost __his __balance__. __There __was __glass __and __blood __every where__, __so __I __ran__._

_I __ran __and __I __didn__'__t __look __back __until __his __screaming __voice __was __like __a __rumble __of __thunder __in __the __distance__._

_I __was __never __going __back__._

"Young man, you can't stay here. I'm about to open up," came a soft voice. I had somehow found myself back at the library in my bid to run from Sam.

"Sorry." I stretched.

"You looked starved to death. Come in and I'll make you a hot chocolate. I'm just about to make myself one, too."

I stood and smiled. "Thank you."

"You!" I heard the familiar voice behind me, rough and full of hate.

Without a word, I took off. Would I ever be able to hide from him?

My legs burned from lack of rest and food, but there was no way I was going to stop until I was as far away from him as possible.

Pushing myself to my limits, I stole a glance behind me...I didn't see it coming.

Pain shot through me and my body made contact with the ground. Then, everything went black.

**Sorry ****such ****a ****short ****chapter****, ****back ****to ****our ****boys ****next ****time****.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Okay, this is the chapter you have all been waiting for, Edwards 18th. I purposely waited until chapter 18 for this, lol. I was going to bareback my boys, but was told it wasn't as sexy as it was thought to be.**

**Thanks to my pre reader SimplyMatt , and thanks to Mrs. Agget, my amazing pre reader and beta.**

**I own nothing x**

**EPOV**

He hasn't allowed me move over the past few days, treating me like the prodigal son returned from the wilderness. It was more than I could have asked for, yet he hadn't kissed me again either. Light touches and that amazing smile was all he gave, although it was far more than I thought I deserved.

When he had shown me the text that had been sent from my phone, I was ready to go back to the man I once called my father and beat the crap out of him, for making the man I had fallen so deeply for in such a short time think that I blamed him for any of this and that I could possibly not want to be with him anymore.

It was the eve of my 18th birthday and for most of the day, I had heard the sounds of movement below me. I hoped he wasn't going to a lot of trouble for me; he had given me so much already.

Alice had become a permanent feature in my care and we had made a strong friendship. She was funny and a live wire who took no shit from either her uncle or Emmett. We too had become firm friends. He loved Carlisle as a brother and accepted me as his partner even though nothing had ever been confirmed between us.

"Dressing time," Alice sing songed as she breezed into my room with the bandages. My wrists had developed a small infection in the short space of time of being neglected. I'd also become anaemic, so I was on iron injections too. Emmett took blood daily to monitor my blood gases and so far so good. The overdose had only left me with the possibility of developing problems later on in life if I didn't look after myself, and there was no chance of that happening, not if C had anything to do with it. C was his pet name I had given him. All others like baby, sweetheart and babe just didn't fit, although I loved it when he called me baby or angel.

"Earth to Edward," Alice giggled beside me.

"Sorry."

"You really do love him, don't you?" This was the first time anyone had asked any questions about my feelings for him. I nodded, a lump forming in my throat. "So much," I whispered.

"He's a wonderful man," she smiled as she finished my dressings.

"So," I cleared my throat. "What's going on downstairs?"

"Oh, no no no no. I'm not telling you. He would have my hide if I told you anything." She jumped from the bed and busied herself with the covers and I could see the glint in her eyes. She was dying to tell me. I wonder what punishment she had been threatened with.

"Ali?" I whined.

"Nope nope nope." She stuck her tongue out at me.

"What are you, twelve?" I chuckled. She seemed to think for a moment, then flexed her middle finger at me. I roared laughing. "That's more like it."

I must have dozed off. The next time I opened my eyes, it was dark and I was very warm. Moving slowly to my side, I saw him. He was fully dressed and asleep, his arm draped over my chest and his brow furrowed into a cute frown. Slowly, I reached over to smooth out his flawless skin with the pad of my thumb. He mumbled something sleepily then smiled. I hoped he was dreaming of me.

Knowing he needed his rest, I pulled the covers over him. "I love you," I whispered.

A smile graced his face as his breathing evened back out with a soft snore. Closing my eyes, I relaxed into the sound of his heartbeat synchronised with my own soft thrum.

_A warm breeze brushed over my face and as I opened my eyes, piercing blue skies hung above me with only the tiniest wisp of cloud. I pushed myself up onto my elbows and took in my surroundings. I was laying in a meadow of wildflower, cushioned by heather as far as the eye could see. Standing, I took in a deep breath. Floral scents hit my senses with the smell of an early morning rain._

"_You're going to be late, daydreamer," A familiar voice shouted behind me. As I turned, Alice grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the horizon._

"_Alice?"_

"_He's ready for you, waiting on your bridge over the brook," she smiled as she released my hand._

_Our bridge... brook?_

_I followed her laughter that soon mingled with a brook less than ten feet in front of me. There was a small group of people gathered on the bank but my eyes were on the man on top of the bridge. His strong, lean back was facing me, and as I neared, I saw his shoulders visibly relax._

"_C?" I whispered._

_As he turned, the landscape before me melted like rain on a chalkboard._

"_Wait...no!" I panted as I scrambled to reach for him._

"Angel?" a soft voice cooed.

"C... please wait! I'm sorry I'm late! Please baby, wait for me... I'm coming."

"Angel?" The voice sounded more pained this time.

"C!" I shouted, my heart threatening to leave my body via my throat.

Cool hands enveloped me, brushing hair from my sweaty face. I opened my eyes, startled, breathing heavily into my living pillow.

"Angel, it was just a nightmare, baby," Carlisle soothed me, holding me close to his chest.

I shook my head fiercely "Wasn't a nightmare," I whispered, sobbing gently.

He cupped my face in his hands, brought his forehead to mine, and kissed my lips gently. My tongue caressed his lower lip, begging for entrance, which he gave. Our kiss deepened as I pushed him back onto the bed so I was half laid over his body.

"Angel," he whimpered.

"Please." I needed him. I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I needed him so much. I needed to be as close to him as I could.

Carlisle sighed as he pulled his lips from mine. "I can't, not yet."

My head spun to the clock on the bedside cabinet. "I'm eighteen," I chuckled, tugging on his bottom lip.

"I know," he sighed, moving himself from underneath me and standing.

"Carlisle?"

"I'm sorry, angel. Just give me a little more time."

The hair on the back of my neck prickled. What was he waiting for?

He didn't need my parents' permission. Was he having second thoughts?

My breathing came out in short spurts and my head became dizzy. Strong hands held my face, his deep brown eyes burning into my soul. "Look at me, Edward. Look at my face...does this look like a man who doesn't want you, who doesn't crave you every moment of every day?"

My eyes lowered to the comforter. "Look. at. me!" He whispered, enunciating every word.

My eyes moved slowly back to his, now filled with unused tears. "I love you, Edward, so much it scares me." He left the bed and walked towards the door, stopped, and turned back to look at me.

"I..I'm.." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

I climbed out of the bed and stopped before him, my hands in his I spoke softly. "Tell me what it is, C. Please."

When his eyes opened, they were full of fear. "I'm a virgin," he exhaled as he pulled from my grip and left the room.

**CPOV**

Fuck! That really wasn't the way I wanted to tell him, but was there a better way?

Here I was, the thirty year old virgin. A living, breathing cliche; a loser.

After my parents had kicked me out, I had thrown myself into school, then college, then medical school.

I had fooled around a little, but never met anyone I wanted to be intimate with. My uncles taught me that the person had to be right, that it was mine to give away and no one had a right to take it from me. I guess, with everything that happened, I never found that person. With taking care of Alice after my uncles died and dealing with the constant nightmares of my past, finding someone was the last thing on my mind, until him: until Edward.  
Now I feel like I'm fifteen again, curious and scared.

I slammed the door to my study and the mirror reverberated off the wall, only just not losing its hold on the picture hook.

I sat down in my leather chair, elbows on knees and head in hands. I had probably screwed up the most important day of his life, of our lives, by not being honest with him and then walking out, leaving him to process the information I had just revealed to him.

There came a soft knock at the door and I took a deep breath in through my nose and exhaled it through my mouth, attempting to bring my emotions into check.

"Uncle Carlisle?"

I smiled as Alice walked sheepishly into my study. She could still look like the ten year old who would breeze through the house like a warm summer breeze.

"Hey baby girl." I held out my arms. She sat on my lap and placed her head on my shoulder.

"What is it, Uncle?"

I chuckled. "Grown up stuff."

Alice jumped from my knee and pouted. "I'm nineteen. Trust me, I can handle it."

"I have no doubt you could, but there are still some things you don't know about me and I would rather it was kept that way." I raised an eyebrow to her, pleading with her not to ask anymore questions. She shrugged dramatically before walking towards the door.

"Whatever it is, he'll understand," she quipped as she closed the door.

Would he?

I had just told him I was a virgin. Was he expecting me to teach him... show him the art of lovemaking?

I slammed my head against my desk. I needed to sort this, and soon. Standing, I made my way back up to our room. As I opened the door, I could hear the shower running. I took the tentative steps towards the en suite. Behind this door was the man I loved, naked, wet... _Okay not helping,_ I chuckled to myself. Okay, behind this door was the man who had touched my very soul, who could reach me when so many others couldn't.

I turned the handle and was instantly hit with steam. My eyes adjusted as I sought him out.  
His back was turned to me and I took a moment to drink in his perfect form. He was lean yet muscular. I watched his muscles ripple as he reached into the cabinet, then he stopped moving.

"Shower with me." It wasn't a question, it was a plea.

Slowly, I walked towards him until my chest was flush with his back. I leant my head to the side and placed a soft open mouthed kiss on his neck. His head fell back onto my shoulder as he let out a small cry.

"I need you," he whispered, "so much."

"I'm sorry," I sighed into his neck. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

He laughed softly and the vibrations coursed through my very being. "Do you usually discuss your sexual history with your patients?"

I tensed infinitesimally and grabbed his arm to turn him round.

"You. Are. Not. My. Patient," I growled, and his eyes widened.

A small crooked smile grew on his face as he licked his bottom lip. He had said that to get a reaction from me, and I had played right into his hands. Well, my Angel, revenge is sweet.

Without a word I fell to my knees and drank in the perfection that twitched in front of me. I flicked out my tongue to catch a bead of liquid from its tip.

"Ungh," he mewed as his hands filtered through my hair.

"I want to taste you, my Angel," I whispered as I looked up at him through my lashes. He swallowed thickly and nodded his head. I placed my hands around the back of his thighs and gently massaged his skin as I pulled him further towards me and took the tip of his head into my mouth. I licked around his soft, tender flesh and the noises he made where the sweetest I had ever heard. I knew he wouldn't last long, but I planned on there being lots more times after tonight. His body began to tremble and his breaths shortened so I knew he was close.

"Carlisle." He panted his hands in my hair. "Too much, C. Gonna..."

His body convulsed and I was rewarded by a stream of warm liquid as it pulsed down my throat. I stood and pulled a very shaky Edward into the shower. We washed one another and it seemed more intimate than the act I had just performed. Edward insisted on drying me. His long fingers peeped out from the sides of the towel he used and left my skin on fire.

**Epov**

I had just received the most mind blowing blow job. He may have been a virgin, but his caresses were so sure and strong that I could feel him pulling on my soul.

We washed one another in the shower and I insisted that I dried him. My fingers traced his perfect skin as I moved my hands over his body. I needed him like I needed air.

He pulled me to the bed and we lay on our sides facing one another, our hands memorising every dip and curve of one anothers bodies.

"I need you," I whispered as I leant my head in to capture his lips with mine. He hummed in response and gently pushed me onto my back. My hand moved down his body and I grasped his leg and pulled it over my hip. His hard cock was now pressed so close to the inside of my thigh.

"Angel..I don't know which..." He began to lose his confidence and I knew I had to take charge, this time anyway. He deserved that from me. He had always been the strong one.

"I want to bottom," I whisper shouted. His eyes widened but he couldn't hide the bright glint of excitement hiding in the look he gave me.

He pulled up off me and leant over to his bedside cabinet. The sound of the drawer made my skin tingle. This was it. This was going to be the moment everything changed for me, for us.

He lay his back on the bed and gestured to me. I climbed slowly over his fine physique and sat on his abdomen. I could feel his erection tap on the small of my back and I gently rocked my hips, earning a growl from him.

He held up his supplies, a condom and a bottle of lube. I opened my hand and he dropped them into my trembling palms.

"You control everything, babe." I smiled, knowing he wasn't going to give me full control, just the beginning. I pushed up on my knees and squeezed a little lube onto my fingers. His breathing hitched as I began to stretch myself for him.

"Are you sure you don't want to do this part, C?" I whispered coyly. He shook his head, his eyes never leaving my hand. Once I knew I was ready, I shuffled down the bed a little so his erection danced at my entrance. I ripped open the condom and with trembling hands, I clumsily began to push the condom down onto his large cock. His hands stilled mine and I looked into his eyes.

"I trust you," he said with sincerity in his voice that caused a lump in my throat.

Slowly, I continued to push down the condom until he was fully sheathed.

"Hold my hands, Angel."

We twinned our hands together. Soon, we would be connected in every way as I began to sit down slowly, his cock sliding infinitesimally into me, inch by glorious inch. I hissed as it pushed through the first ring of muscle, my body's natural defence to impede its continuous journey further inside me. The burn changed to heat, heat that consumed my body as I became so full.

We stilled and no words were needed as we looked into each others eyes. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed my hips with his strong hands and began to rock them slowly. Once I gained the rhythm, he released me and took each one of my nipples between his fingers and twisted and teased them.

"Ungh, fuck. Feels so amazing," I panted as I quickened my pace.

His eyes began to close and I placed my hands on either side of his face. "Look at me, baby," I whispered as I pulled his bottom lip between mine.

He opened his eyes and a tear fell to the bed. "Carlisle, why are you crying?" I wiped his eyes with the pad of my thumb.

"I love you so much, Edward." He smiled and I felt him pulse inside me and spill into the condom.

I collapsed to his side and hissed as he slid from me. We held one another, not speaking, not moving.

I knew from that moment on I would never be the same again, and that I never wanted to be without the man by my side.

**_ **

**I really hope this chapter was everything you hoped it would be :)**


	19. Chapter 19

Hi Guys sorry it has taken so long to update I have been writing my original fic novel. Hope you will continue to enjoy my boys updates will be back to normal now. Thanks to my amazing pre reader/ beta AngelLuvsFanfic who has joined me whilst Matt and Penny have their own writing to do she is also my pre reader/beta for my novel.  
As usual I don't own anything that honour goes to SM.  
Hands up who cried in BD2 \o/ (I did)

Cpov

I feel like I've had an out of body experience, connected. Intimately to the man I love was without a doubt breathtaking. For someone so inexperienced at love, he was gentle and giving. Its almost like my soul knew he existed and had been waiting for him.

Edward mewed beside me and I chuckled softly at the pout of his soft full lips, which turned into a small smile. I wonder what he's dreaming of? I pulled my arm gently from under his back and padded to the bathroom to relieve myself. Once finished I turned on the shower, and when the steam rose I could still smell a faint scent of us swirling around me. I stepped under the hot water and hissed as the jets massaged my coiled muscles.

"Your showering without me, I'm hurt?" said a hoarse voice over the thunder of the water.

I spun on my heels and almost lost my balance, a strong hand grabbing my arm to steady me.

"Did I tire you out that much old man?" he chuckled as he climbed in behind me.

"Less of the old." I pulled him flush into my side and attacked his neck with frantic kisses, I'll show him who's old I thought to myself.

He hummed as I moved to face him, our morning erections greeting one another with a nonchalant nod. He kissed the line of my collarbone as I sucked on the soft skin of his neck.

"Need you." I whispered against his heated skin.

"Here?" he moaned.

"Yes here, I want you in the shower, I want you now!" I pulled my lips from his neck and turned him away from me as, he pressed his hands on the glass shower wall. I could only imagine what we must look like from the outside. I knelt behind him and parted his cheeks, his entrance was a rosy red.

"Are you sore Angel?" I traced his entrance with the tip of my finger and his muscles contracted.

"A little, but I'm okay. I want you Carlisle." he panted as he bucked his hips back.

I poured the waterproof lube on my fingers, -I had placed it there before he had moved in, it helped with my self loving sessions. My fingers danced around his entrance, but then I had a better idea; I wanted to taste him _there. _With a long, languid lick I savoured his musky flavour from his balls to the small of his back. The noises he made spurred me on and made my own hard cock dance with delight. I took another long sweep, and then another until his breaths were ragged. I noticed one of his hands had disappeared from the glass wall and he was now tugging at himself at a fierce rate.

I began to tickle his entrance with the tip of my tongue now, slowly dipping it into his hot, wet, hole a little deeper each time, and my hand snaked between his legs and held onto his balls tugging on them gently.

"Ungh..ahhh, Oh. My. God!" he cried, as he painted his cum onto the shower wall, I caught him by the waist as his legs gave way. As I sat on the shower floor, my lover in my arms still panting I closed my eyes in contentment. As Edward turned in my arms with a lazy smile on his face he, leant forward and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"I love you," he smiled.

"I love you too." I stifled a laugh at an inappropriate thought that had suddenly entered my head.

"What's tickled you?" he said with a bemused smile.

"Baby, I love you, but I also love Alice and she is probably about ten minutes away from beating down this door if I don't get you down stairs." I chuckled and kissed his forehead.

My Angel smiled, took my hand and pulled me to my knees. Our bodies flush with one another as the water cascaded over us, he leant in giving me a searing kiss. I parted my lips and our tongues danced, his hand traced my abs moving lower until it found its goal.I moaned into his mouth as he began to pump me hard and fast. I wouldn't take long, I was already past the point of no return from the noises he had made whilst I tasted him. The visuals broke me, my self control crumbled and I came hard spurting my hot, sweet juices all over his hand and our sat back on our heels pulling in sharp breaths, our hands still touching one another unable to break contact.

"Washed and dressed." I said finally able to speak, as I stood taking him with me. We showered with what little of the hot water that was left and I dressed quickly, leaving him to get dressed alone with the orders to stay put, that I would come back up and collect him.

Epov

Oh. My. God!

That must was the most intense orgasm I have ever had, and I know I haven't had many , or maybe it was just the person who had given it to me that made it THAT good? Last night had been amazing, we learned together and that in itself made it so special. I never knew love with another person could be so good, so why did some people think it was bad. Nothing that made you feel this good could be bad, could it? I shook my head looking around his room...our room, I was in love with a man, a man who completed me in both body and soul how could I have deserved this, deserved him? I was brought back from my darkening thoughts by a soft knock.

"Are you ready, Angel?" I looked down at my still towel clad body and a smile crept onto my face.

"Yes, you can come in."

Carlisle stepped into the room, he stopped raising an eyebrow at me.

"Edward." he groaned.

"Yes?" I smiled as I walked towards him my hands on my towel.

"Don't!" He warned, taking a step back.

"Don't what?" I continued.

"Edward I'm warning you." His voice attempting to be serious, but the prominent bulge in his trousers was showing me he wanted to play too.

"Ohh I love a man in authority." He took another step back and his heels hit the door. I stalked forwards closing the gap, leaning forward sucking on his Adams apple.

"Mmm Edward, Angel please." he panted, I looked up into his hooded eyes.

"Please." I murmured against his neck.

"Later baby, I promise." he sounded pained like he hated to turn me down.

"I'll hold you to that." I smiled as I turned away from him.

"That's not the only thing you'll be holding onto." he smirked "Downstairs in five minutes or I send Alice to get you."

Wait! what? He couldn't say something like that to me and then threaten me with Alice, I would need more than five minutes to calm myself down I thought as I looked at the tenting towel.

Bastard!

I dressed quickly in my jeans and a dark green button down, and my way downstairs. It was unervingly quiet, the only light a soft glow from beneath his study door. With my heart beating rapidly in my chest I opened the door.

"Surprise!" the voices rang out, as I pushed it open. My eyes adjusting to the light I blinked rapidly.

I recognised three of the smiling people standing around the fire, but not the other petite woman, her caramel hair tied to the side in a neat herringbone plait. She was dressed in a smart trouser suit that made her skin glow, as she walked forward holding out her hand.

Remembering my impeccable manners,- the only decent thing my parents had ever taught me- I held my hand out to her.

"Happy Birthday Edward, I'm Esme Platt." she smiled as she took my hand in both of hers.

"Esme, nice to meet you Alice has told me all about you."

"Oh she has, well ignore her its all lies." she chuckled as she raised an eyebrow to a giggling Alice.

Carlisle moved forward holding out a small package in his hands to me. I took it looking at Carlisle in surprise it was a box wrapped in black shiny paper with a note saying 'To my Angel' xx

"Carlisle?"

"It's nothing big." he muttered.

"You've already given me so much baby." I winked, he blushed, the floor suddenly becoming a lot more interesting.

Ripping open the paper I revealed a small box, inside was a Claddagh pendant it was perfect.

"I love it." I whispered suddenly losing my breath "I love you."

He smiled and raised his head at my declaration, "I love you too Edward, so much." He leant forward and kissed my lips softly.

"My turn," squealed Alice, she bounded forward holding a small gift.

"Alice you didn't have to."

"It's from me and Emmett." I looked over the top of her and Emmett gave me a mock salute.

It was a new cell phone. I received a gift from Esme too; the latest Ipod.

We ate food, had a few drinks and talked about random things. This felt so right his arm around my back pulling me in close, whilst we talked with family and friends. This is what I wanted with him; forever, I just hoped he wanted it too.

"What's got you looking all serious?" he whispered in my ear. I shrugged not wanting to spoil the party.

"Edward?"

"It's silly, an idealist's dream."

"Edward Anthony Masen?"

I sighed and looked at him drowning in his gaze "This." I gestured around us.

"What about this?"

"I want it." I muttered barely audible.

"Baby, you have it."

"Forever?"

His breath hitched. Placing a hand on my cheek, he brought my face to his whispering "For as long as you want it." He pressed his mouth against mine and I knew he was being sincere.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, he ignored it initially, but it continued to buzz and he sighed.

"I'm sorry, I have to get this."

"Hello Doctor Cullen here." His brow furrowed,and he nodded a few times his, lips drawn in a thin line.

"I'll be right there." He closed his phone and looked at me apologetically.

"I have to go baby, I'm sorry."

"Emergency?" I questioned and he nodded.

"Young man with serious head injuries sounds like a hit and run."

"Go."

"I love you baby."

"I love you too and I'll be here when you get home won't I" I smiled.

"Knowing that will get me through tonight." We kissed and he left with Emmett close behind.

Cpov

I hated leaving his party, but I loved that he understood how important my job was to me. When Emmett and I arrived at the hospital, we were shown through to the cubicle where a young boy maybe around twelve or fourteen head was a mass of blonde hair stuck together with water and blood. He had already been stripped down to his boxers, and was covered in bruises some, old some obviously new.

"Doc, he couldn't have got all these from the accident, " remarked Emmett beside me. "Those there are old, this kid has been beaten." He said the last part in a low growl.

"Emmett we need to keep calm, assess his new injuries first." I laid my hand on his arm. Coming from an abusive father I knew this was hard for Emmett to see. He nodded and pushed the boys hair back from his face.

"Poor kid, any name?" The nurse shook her head.

"The woman from the library said he was asleep on the step, she invited him in, but when he saw a man he ran, thats when the car hit him," explained the nurse.

I nodded taking the file from her. Emmett was staring down at the young boy his brow furrowed.

"Emmett, are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah Doc I'm fine, lets get him fixed up."

**)(oooooooo)(**


	20. Chapter 20

I'm sorry it has been so long between updates, life has been on the trying side.  
Thanks so much to Angela LuvsFanfic for pre reading this chapter whilst Matt is busy with his own projects and for her amazing beta skills too .  
I own nothing only the story ideas.

**JPOV**

My head felt like someone had used it for baseball practise, I felt really stiff and whenever I tried opening my eyes it hurt like hell.

I flinched as a cold hand touched my head, "Son, can you open your eyes for me please?"

Dare I?

Am I home?

Please don't let me be back home he'll kill me for sure this time.

My body shook and bile rose up my throat, _Oh God, I think I'm going to hurl_.

"Where am I?" I whispered.

"Port Angeles county hospital," a male voice replied.

It took a minute for my head to remember where I was. I had been in Port Angeles, I remembered that much, but what had happened to me? Groaning I attempted to open my eyes, and sit up, but my head spun and I turned it away from the bed just in time to throw up, unfortunately it was in the direction of the voice.

"Shit." I moaned as I lay back down.

"Don't worry," the voice chuckled, "You're not the first and you won't be the last."

"Sucks to be you." I laughed, before a coughing fit took over.

I felt the hand behind my head again, this time I didn't flinch, he seemed an okay doctor.

"Is that the phrase of the youth of today." I could hear a smile in his voice as he passed me a plastic cup full of ice chips.

"Huh?"

"Sucks to be you?" he repeated.

"Don't know why?"

He shrugged. "Oh nothing, it's just I have been told that twice now in the past forty eight hours."

"Really?"

He nodded, writing something on my record sheet at the bottom of the bed.

"So is there anyone I can contact, family, parents?"

My body stiffened as I shook my head.

"No, no family." _No one cares..._

**Cpov**

I was pleased that he seemed to know what was going on around him, although something at the back of my mind told me that there was something familiar about this kid. The phrase he had said to me made it even more plausible that this could infact be Jasper.

When he had first been admitted and Emmett and I had assessed him we found old bruises and scars. Some were typical of a boy of around his age, as we guessed he may be around twelve or fourteen years old. Others however were oddly placed, especially the ones on his back and the back of his legs. I had gone against everything I had been taught and failed to phone family services, now I was immensely glad I had second guessed myself.

"There must be someone I can call, to tell them you are okay?" I suggested.

He shook his head, his eyes looking down at the bed in front of him him body visibly trembling.

"Hey, you're safe." My hand moved instinctively forward and he jumped.

"Safe, what do you mean safe, why wouldn't I be safe?" he snapped defensively. I sighed and looked towards the door, Pam would be due back with his meds in a few minutes so I took my chance.

"Son, when you came in...the bruises." I arched a challenging eyebrow at him.

His face fell, the mask disappeared as he looked down at the stark white hospital sheets.  
"I'm clumsy." he whispered. Slowly, as not to startle him, I perched myself on the edge of his bed. "How many times have you said that?" I asked, knowing the answer was probably too many for him to remember.

"I don't understand?" his voice was small, toddler-like.

"How many times have you said you are clumsy Son, how many people have you had to explain...things...to?"

He sighed wringing his hands together in front of him, "I-I-I-I don't know what you mean...I'm a kid...a kid that plays sports... and falls over a lot."

I knew he was hiding something, but I also knew not to push he didn't trust me as yet.

"Okay Son, I'll leave you to rest. Pam will be in in a few minutes with your meds and to put clean dressings on." He didn't answer as I left the room.

Exhausted and needing to hear his voice I called home.

"Hello," answered Alice's cheery voice.

"Hey Sweetheart, is Edward around?" She chuckled and I rolled my eyes as I heard her move through the house.

"Hi baby," his voice was thick with sleep and I inwardly cursed that I had woken him.

"I'm sorry Angel, go back to sleep I'll phone back later."

"It's fine baby, I need to get my ass out of bed anyway, how are you?"

I smiled to myself, he was so selfless. "Just needed to hear your voice." I whispered, my voice cracking at the end, giving away my need for him.

"Baby, what is it?"

Clearing my throat I took a deep breath, "Nothing Angel, I just missed you."

"I miss you too baby." he answered, his voice becoming low and breathy, making my trousers tighten. _Thank god for my lab coat_. I laughed to myself.

"I'll be home in a few hours Angel." I begun to explain but, he interrupted me.

"Baby, I'll be here," he whispered. "For as long as you want me," he added at the end.

_Forever?_I thought to myself. I knew I was getting ahead of myself; he was young he could find someone younger and I wasn't foolish enough to believe he would be my forever.

"Have you heard a word I said?" Edward's voice flowed down the phone at me.

"Sorry Angel."

Edward chuckled on the other end. I still found it amazing how the sound of one persons voice could make my soul glow.

"I was saying I think I will take a walk with Alice down to the farmers market and pick something up for dinner only.." he paused.

"Only?"

"I don't have any money, I promise as soon as I am strong enough I'll get a part time job, I'll pay my way and.." It was my turn to interrupt him.

"Angel will you stop! Ask Alice to pay and then text Emmett and I'll settle up with him later." I smiled hearing his breathing slow down. "And Angel please stop worrying."

"I love you Baby." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I love you too, but I have to go get my rounds done, see my new patient then I should be home around one."

"How is your new patient?"

I toyed with the idea of telling him I thought it may be Jasper, but decided against it.

"He's doing okay, he was very lucky the windshield didn't break on impact."

"Well he's in the best hands with you and Emmett."

My love for him became impossibly stronger at that moment. Could I have really found someone who understood me, who loved me as much as I loved him?

_Only until he finds someone younger..._the dark voice chuckled in the back of my mind.

**Epov**

Something was bothering my baby, but I wasn't going to push, he would tell me when he was ready...I hoped.

_Maybe he has realised you're a mistake, that you will only bring him embarrassment? _My fathers voice grated in the back of my mind.

"Edward, are you okay?" I turned to face Alice who was holding out the bunch of fresh spinach she had just bought for me.

"Yeah, sorry I'm fine."

She smiled placing the produce into the carrier bag before placing both hands on mine.  
"Be patient, he isn't as strong as he likes people to think he is." I nodded, we were both parts of broken souls drawn to each other, only to be forged back together as one complete entity.

"So..." She linked my arm and pulled me towards the deli stall, the smell of spices making my mouth water. "...are you planning to eat at the table?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Huh?"

"Where are you planning on eating?" She giggled, laying her head against my arm.

I could feel my face heating up. I hadn't given it a thought. Could I set everything out in the bedroom, _our bedroom_, or even the balcony at the rear of the house, or the patio? I groaned I really wasn't any good at this.

"Edward don't stress, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," she sighed turning me to face her.

"I'm not, I just don't know, all this is so new." I sighed.

"How about you start with antipasti on the patio, move to the study for your main, then the bedroom for..well you know..dessert?" Her face was now a lovely shade of puce and her eyes bright.

" Do I ask how you know so much about wooing or not?" I chuckled pulling her in for a hug, she was like the sister I never had.

"Emmett needed a lot of wooing." she wiggled her eyebrows at me.

I laughed thinking of the beefy guy sitting on the floor eating pasta, and drinking out of fine crystal wine goblets

"Did it take a long time for him to realise his feelings for you?" I asked.

Alice shook her head, her expression suddenly saddened. "No, he said he loved me from the moment he saw me but that our age difference was hard for him, because of what others may think."

"How old were you?" I asked, as I pointed to some chorizo on the stall.

"Just turned seventeen, but we didn't make it public until I turned eighteen." she replied, paying the vendor for the meat. "You'd think it was easier because we're straight, but love is love and people will find a problem with it no matter what."

I mused on what she had said. She was right my parents would have had a problem with me if I had brought home a thirty year old woman.

"You can't help who you fall in love with Edward." she smiled, that I knew was true.

As we walked and she told me stories of Carlisle when he was younger and about her Dads and Esme. We stopped at a local bakery for some fresh Italian bread before saying our goodbyes at the door. Glancing at my watch it was a little after three, I put away the food for dinner and made my way to the bedroom.

My baby was fast asleep, the top sheet barely covering his boxer clad body. I took a moment to drink him in, he was lean yet muscular and had a faint tan that was probably from working outside, rather than lying in the sun as he didn't strike me as someone who took many holidays. I knew I should let him sleep, he had just finished a long, hard shift at the hospital, maybe I would just take a nap with him, hold him in my arms. Stripping down to my boxers I carefully lifted the sheet and slid my body in behind him, smiling when his body relaxed into mine as my hand spread across his firm stomach before resting over his heart.

"You kept me waiting," he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep as he turned in my arms.

Our lips met, hungry and forceful, nipping and sucking as our teeth clashed, our need for one another stronger than any force created by man or nature.

"I need you so fucking much," he moaned into my mouth as he threw off the covers. Reluctantly I pulled away from his mouth, hooked my thumbs in the waistband of his boxers and pulled them swiftly down, only to be greeted by the glorious sight of his erect cock twitching, waiting to be worshipped, and I had every intention of worshipping every inch of his body. Yesterday we made love today we were going to fuck. I took his length into my mouth causing him to cry out as I hollowed out my cheeks and swirled my tongue around the engorged head. Pulling back until only the tip was lying on my tongue. I chanced a glance at his face, to find his eyes were locked on me, and his hands were fisted into the sheet.

"Hold my hair." I ordered the best I could, his eyes widened as he moved his hands to my hair threading his long fingers through it.

He began to slowly fuck my mouth hitting the back of my throat, then I swallowed. "Fuck!" he cried out as he came in long spurts down my throat, this was the first time and I struggled at first to swallow it all down. I nipped and sucked at the soft skin on his thigh as he came down from his high his body twitching.

"Get up here." he growled, hooking his hands under my arms and pulling me on top of his body, we kissed and he moaned tasting himself on my lips.

"We taste so good together," he moaned, pushing my boxers down past my ass and massaging my cheeks. "I want to taste you again my Angel." He latched onto my shoulder biting down on the soft skin causing me to whimper. He slid from underneath me, leaving me on my stomach on the bed, pushing my knees up and parting my legs, leaving me open and wanting, the fire already burning with the anticipation of what he was about to do.

I heard the click of the lube and the icy feeling of it being dribbled on the small of my back down my crack

"Mmm cherry," he whispered behind me. _Cherry?_

**Cpov**

I knew he would be out with Alice when I arrived home from work and this gave me time to take a shower and perhaps have a power nap. I had stopped at the drugstore on my way home to purchase some more condoms, knowing there was no way I could keep my hands off him now. He was brilliant and perfect and so fucking sexy and if I had my way we wouldn't move from our room for the entire weekend but, I knew that I would probably get called into work at some point. Then I saw the lube next to mint, cherry was one of my favorite flavours and all the bad thoughts of how I could use it pushed me to purchase that too.

I knew he had entered the room before he had slid in behind me, the unexplainable pull that I felt when he was near. His warm body sent sparks through mine and I had to have him, but he turned the tables on me and gave me the most amazing blow job. Now it was my turn to make him scream, I dribbled the lube onto the small of his back and watched it slide slowly between his cheeks covering his waiting hole.

Leaning forward I playfully nipped the soft skin of his ass causing him to squeal and chuckle.  
I took a moment to look at my prize, soft, blossoming pink, a rosebud waiting to be plucked I darted my tongue out and tickled the skin around his hole.

"Unf baby," he whimpered as he bucked his hips back, I flicked again making sure I didn't come into contact with this treasure just yet. I could feel my own erection hardening again as I licked him this time I took a long, hard stroke from his perineum to his hole.

"Argh too much," he panted his knuckles white on the top of the headboard as he pulled himself up a little so he could see over his shoulder. I sucked at my prize, the musky, sweet muscle that welcomed my tongue and would soon be filled with my now weeping cock. I didn't want him to cum just yet, I wanted him to wait until I was fucking him. Pressing my finger and tongue into the ring of muscle, he relaxed immediately taking all I had to give, after a few strokes I replaced my tongue with another digit stretching him as he panted and writhed against my hand. Sliding on the condom, I knelt up placing the head of my cock against his entrance, leaning forward I caught his ear lobe in my mouth and sucked gently.

"I love you." I whispered with adoration as I pushed myself inside him slowly. I watched myself slide in and out of him, the whimpers and moans filling the once silent room. Once I knew he was ready for more I placed my hands on his hips and pulled out until only my head was still enveloped in his heat before slamming back in without warning.

**Epov**

My body jerked forward as he slammed into me the burn was intense as he fucked me with abandonment, the headboard banging against the wall. I matched his thrusts and soon the only sounds were grunts and bangs, this was primal fucking and it was so fucking hot. His hands slid over my body as a sweat gathered on our skin, dripping from my hair to my nose as our heated bodies took everything we could give to each other. His hands moved to mine, forcing me to release my grip of the headboard, he gently pulled me back to sit straddled onto his lap, as he began rolling his hips. This new depth hit every sensitive part there was inside me and it wasn't long before I came violently and I hadn't even touched myself.

I whimpered as he lifted my body and pulled out of me, lying me down on the bed he stood pulling me to the edge before lining himself up again and sinking balls deep inside me. His hooded eyes had me drowning in their depths as he stared at me, pounding into me so erratically, I shifted up the bed. His eyes closed as he pounded once more and stilled a silent lament falling from his lips as he came inside the condom and I felt each pulse before he collapsed onto the floor on his knees. Regaining my senses I scrambled from the bed and pulled him onto my lap as he attempted to slow his breathing.  
"What are you doing to me?" he chuckled.

"Me?" I answered, looking up at him, innocently

He nodded. "I don't know where that came from," he exclaimed, as he turned in my arms, his brows knitted, "Did I hurt you Angel?"

"No." I kissed him gently on the lips.

"I will never get my fill of you," he said, placing soft kisses on my chest.

"I'm so glad," I chuckled, "You can do that to me again anytime."

_**Wow okay, no idea where that chapter came from but loved writing it. Don't worry we will **__**get back to Jasper soon he is in safe hands...for the moment dun dun duuuun.**_


	21. Chapter 21

**Yes you will be excused from thinking you have already read this, because you have….kind of lol.**

**After re reading it I decided against the ending of the original chapter and couldn't rest until I had made it right. Hope you enjoy the revised version *fingers crossed***

**Many thanks to Angela LuvsFanfic for re reading and beta'ing it again.**

**As always I own nothing only the story line, all characters belong to their rightful owners.**

**Okay enough of my ramblings….Here's chapter 21 AGAIN!**

**ENJOY!**

Cpov

Edward had been holding back on me and I don't mean in the bedroom, in there we equalled in every way. He had run me a bath after our lovemaking, then proceeded to cook us both an amazing dinner with the fresh produce he had bought on his day out with Alice. I was pleased he had left the house, especially with someone his own age, but I'd be lying though if I said I hadn't been a little bit nervous; he was a beautiful boy, a man even. His face had regained its glow and he was looking the picture of health on the outside. Inside I knew he had some way to go, especially with his kidneys, but I would be there for him every step of the way.

Now though, as we are sitting in each other's arms, the remnants of a Jasmine tea infused Crème Brule beside us, I allow myself a moment to be smug. He was mine, I'm not a possessive person, but I would fight to the death to keep him exactly where he was.

In my arms.

"What's getting you all worked up baby, your hearts pounding, I can feel it in my back," he whispered, looking over his shoulder.

"Nothing," I answered, leaning forward capturing his mouth, the crème still present as I sucked on his lower lip, and was rewarded by a low growl from his throat.

Humming he turned in my arms, straddling my legs, both our arousals evident through our thin pyjama pants.

"I can't get enough of you," he mewed rocking his hips causing a delicious friction as he nipped the soft skin behind my ear.

"I'm glad it's not just me," I groaned, moving my mouth to his neck and nipping playfully.

"Maybe we should put you on a course of vitamins?" he belly laughed, pulling back.

"As your elder, I could ground you for that." I smiled, with a challenging arch of my eyebrow before raising my hips to him.

We dry humped like a couple of hormonal teenagers, before embarrassingly, I yawned.

"I'm sorry Angel," I sighed, placing my arm across my tired eyes.

"Hey," he pulled my arm away and wrapped it around his waist. "You're tired, I get it... You work long hours, don't ever feel afraid to tell me no." His eyes were full of sincerity, pulling him into my chest I kissed his hair, "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," he replied, placing his hand on my bare chest.

Walking hand in hand towards the bedroom, he filled me in on the details of his day's outing with Alice, he told me of a place he had found for us to take a picnic and my mind wandered to the cabin. Me, Edward and no-one in a twenty-mile radius...heaven.

"I have a cabin."

"You do?"

I nodded, "Maybe soon I can take time from work and we'll spend the weekend up there?"

We washed up and brushed our teeth standing together like it was the most natural thing in the world, two people in love, side by side. Climbing into bed he turned his back to me so we could spoon, my body moulded against his, a perfect fit.

"How's the kid?" he enquired, as he turned off the bedside light.

"He's going to be fine." I smiled into his neck because I had a feeling once Edward knew who he was, Jasper would have someone else fighting in his corner for him.

~~0o0~~

I'm warm, very warm but I don't want to move. I'm wrapped up in my Angel, and sometime during the night we've switched positions, and now his morning erection was sitting sweetly between my ass cheeks. I am about to wriggle my ass when his voice stops me in my tracks, it's pained and for once he sounds his age.

"Why did you do this to me?"

Slowly I turn in his arms, his face is scrunched up, and his eyebrows knitted together.

I knew from experience you should never shake a person having a nightmare, so I have to lie there and watch it play out in front of me. Every time his mouth opens he implores whoever it is he is seeing behind those beautiful green eyes.

"I loved you," he cries, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes, and my heart dies a little more.

Was he talking to his father?

Or maybe a lover I knew nothing of?

I shook my head, mentally chastising myself at the thought of him being unfaithful; it had to be his father or maybe his mother?

He settled again after a few more pleas, and the room once again filled with his soft snores. I couldn't settle, the thought of his parents still ever present in my Angel's nightmares caused the hairs on the back of my neck to prickle. I glanced at the clock it was almost five, I would have to be up in another hour anyway for work, so I kissed my sweet boy on the cheek and went to get ready for my day.

After stacking my files on my desk, I grabbed my list of patients I needed to visit that morning, at the top of the list was Jasper. Thinking of him had me wondering how my own lost soul was at home; did he have any more nightmares after I had left him? I was brought from my reverie by my office phone ringing, the caller Id said number unknown, but that wasn't unusual as many of my patient's families contacted me directly.

"Hello Doctor Cullen's office?" The line stayed live for a moment then disconnected, maybe it was a wrong number.

As I grabbed my list once more and headed towards my door, the phone rang again, sighing I crossed my office and picked up the receiver.

"Doctor Cullen's office," I said cheerily.

I waited patiently for the caller to identify themselves, there was a clearing of a throat then a small voice answered.

"Erm…hello yes, you probably don't remember me, I'm the mother of one of your patients I was just wondering how he was?"

What an unusual request I thought, most parents know how their sons or daughters are. I racked my brains wondering who the patient could be, but came up empty.

"I will try, what is the name of your child please; Mrs…?"

The soft female voice answered my request and my blood froze.

**Elizabeth POV**

I dreamt I saw my baby last night, my Edward; he was in the arms of a man, smiling, and I hadn't seen a smile dance on that beautiful face in such a long time, not since we had bought him his first bike when he was seven. I had an idea back then he was different, special. However, his father would hear nothing of it, said no son of his was going to be homosexual. I glanced to my left he was still snoring, he hadn't even twitched when I'd woken with a cry, no comforting embrace for his wife of 23 years who was dying inside. I rose slowly from the bed and made my way downstairs passing _his_ room, on the way past, I stroked my fingertips along the painted door. Settling into the armchair I had once cradled my baby in, it had been the only piece of furniture Edward Snr had allowed me to bring from the old house, the house I had always envisaged growing old in. It had come as a massive shock when he had announced that we were moving suddenly to the other side of the US. I felt a pang of anger course through me, something that had been happening more and more often these days. It had been over a month since I had seen my son, since I had once again acted like a monster towards him to save my own skin.

I was a coward.

I had hoped him seeing his son so broken in the hospital would have made him feel differently, but it hadn't. All these years I had put up with his bigoted attitude, I had never imagined it would one day have cost me the life of my only child. I raised my eyes to the ceiling, Edward Snr wouldn't be awake for awhile, maybe I could call that doctor at the hospital to see if he had any information on my boy.

I allowed myself a small smile, my boy was now a man. I had said a little prayer the day he had turned eighteen, was he really happy? Did he have love in his life, love me his mother, should have given him? I knew it was no excuse the fact I had been so broken and living on the streets when his father had found me all those years ago, he had been so loving and attentive back then. That was until we were married, then he became bitter when he had to be home from work in the evening, instead of out playing poker with his friends. Things got worse after Edward was born, he often said we weighed him down and that he could put me and our son back on the streets if he wanted. So for 23 yrs I have lived a lie, terrified that he would one day carry out his threat. I was so scared when he had his heart attack, scared and angry that Edward had come out to him, if he had kept quiet none of this would have happened and we'd still be a family.

Tentatively, I picked up the receiver and dialed the number to the hospital, it had rung a few times and a soft male voice answered before I had lost my nerve and put down the phone.

No; I had to be strong, I had to know how he was, so I dialled the number again. Doctor Cullen was very polite, but after I answered his question of who I was, he must have been called away on an emergency as the line went dead.


	22. Chapter 22

Feeling so much better. Apologies for my lack of updates, RL has once again kicked my ass.

I own nothing only the story line.

Major smooches to my beta AngelaLuvs Fanfic, she's going to want paying soon.

When I make my millions babe..you, me and Fiji lol.

**Cpov**

My mind was in chaos as I feebly attempted to attend to my patients, after the phone call I had received from Edward's mother.

By mid morning I was exhausted and made my way to see Cassandra my chief of staff.

"Sit Doctor Cullen, you said it was a matter of urgency that we spoke." Cassandra offered me refreshments, which I kindly took, after sitting on the chair she had gestured to.

"Please Cas, don't make this any harder with the professional bullshit," I sighed.

Placing her own drink on her untidy desk, she sat back in her chair, steepling her fingers under her chin.

"Carlisle, what is it? We have been friends for over fifteen years and I have never seen you this unsettled."

Taking a deep breath I began my story, well _our_ story. She had the courtesy not to interrupt, even when I got to the part of actually caring for Edward as a patient, even when her eyebrow rose in question. She merely nodded in understanding, until I exhaled at the end of my spiel.

"Jesus Carlisle," she laughed, softly shaking her head.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"No apology needed. I can't say I would have acted any differently, so now what?"

I sighed this was the crux. "I need time off, I need to get my head round everything." I swallowed thickly, "I need time with Edward." My voice cracking at the end.

Cas nodded, picking up the phone she pressed in a number and waited. My palms were sweaty, as I sat back and drank my tea, the hot sweet liquid calming my nerves slightly.

I watched as she spoke on the phone; her voice demanded attention and I was pleased she was on my side, and even more so when finally she nodded and set the phone back down,

"I have secured you some leave, you have a month as from today, Carlisle," she smiled, yet it didn't quite reach her eyes.

_What was the catch?_

"Sort things out while you are away, I need your head here when you work, not wandering some other place. Is that understood?"

I nodded and was rewarded by her true smile. "Now go home; pack and get the hell out of town."

I stood giving mock salute, "Yes ma'am."

She rounded her desk and hugged me, "Be happy C you of all people deserve that." She kissed my cheek, pushing me out her door.

**Epov**

My dream was so vivid last night, I had a hard time gaining my equilibrium as to where I was when I woke. Noticing the bed was cold on Carlisle's side, I remembered that he had an early start. After showering and dressing, I felt a little more settled, however the remnants of my dream still haunted me.

_I had been in the store again, the same day I had heard my mother talk about how well my father was doing, yet this time I had decided to confront her. The store had melted away and it was just the two of us on the street. I asked her why she had done that to me, had I been that big of a disappointment? Being gay didn't give me three heads or made me any less of a person; did it? I was no different from the seconds before they knew to after I had told them._

My head pounded I needed to get some fresh air, so deciding I would surprise my baby at work with some muffins and fresh coffee, I grabbed the spare keys and headed out. The small deli round the corner from the hospital was so quiet, it took no time at all to grab two lemon and poppy seed muffins, a latte for me, and an americano for Carlisle.

What I didn't expect was meeting him coming out of the hospital as I was walking in.

"Carlisle, is there something wrong?"

His face lit up on seeing me and in the middle of the street he picked me up, swung me around and placed the sweetest kiss on my lips.

"Turn around Angel, we're going home, then you're going to pack," he paused as my feet stopped.

"I'm packing?" I queried, as my hands shook.

Carlisle's eyes narrowed. He took a step in front of me, releasing me of the coffee and paper bag holding our muffins, and held on to my hands.

"_We_ are packing. I am taking you away from all of this for a whole weekend up to my cabin."

"Seriously?" I laughed, kick-starting my heart again.

He pressed his lips over mine once more and I moaned in response, "Seriously."

As we walked to his car Carlisle explained the conversation he'd had with Cassandra a few moments before we had met. I was a little worried that all of his time off would jeopardise his job at the hospital, but he promised me that was why he had asked for a sabbatical.

When we arrived home he left me to go and pack, while he contacted Emmett and Alice to inform them of our trip and of his absence from the hospital. I made some sandwiches up and poured the remains of the soup I had made a fews day before into a flask, while Carlisle did some checks on the car and phoned the house keeping at the cabin to inform them of our imminent arrival.

**Cpov**

I have never seen him look so carefree, even in the throes of passion, but his boyish looks are glowing with excitement. His relaxed demeanour was not helping me concentrate on driving safely, especially now my jeans were feeling extremely restrictive, and by the glint in his eyes, I think he knew exactly what he was doing to me.

He's slouched in the seat beside me, in his low slung jeans and thin t shirt, even though it's winter and there is definitely a nip in the air. He has his MP3 on , looking out at the scenery as we pass it, thrumming away to what I expect is a guitar piece, his slender fingers tapping the top of his thigh.

_Ungh, he's killing me._

We passed a lot with tall pine trees, and then it hit me; its the first of December. I flicked the indicator and pulled rapidly into the lot.

Edward sat up, pulling the buds from his ears, "Everything okay, baby?"

I don't answer him, grabbing my jacket from the back and my wallet. As I left the car, he scrambled after me catching my wrist as I round the front of the vehicle.

"Carlisle?"

"Wait and see." I tapped his nose with my finger.

He scrunched his nose up and it's adorable, leaning forward I placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Momma, that guy just kissed that other guy," a small voice said beside us. I tensed waiting for the parents reaction.

"That's okay sweetie, some men just like other men," the soft voice answered.

"Really?"

I turned to see a small boy of maybe six or seven staring at us, the woman I assumed to be his mother, was looking at the canadian pines.

"Hey dude," Edward smiled, holding his fist out for the boy to pump.

He looked towards his mother for reassurance, she nodded then continued her search for a tree.

"Hey dude," he smiled, as his fist connected with Edward's.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him around the lot, laughing. "You have a way with kids... dude," I teased.

"It helps when I'm dating one." He dodged out of the way of my fist that was about to connect with his shoulder.

Grabbing my hand he twined his fingers in mine, and we walked around the lot looking for the perfect tree.

"This one." I pointed to a Noble Fir that was leaning against a bundle of canadian pines.

Edward rested his head on my shoulder,"Perfect." He kissed my neck, his ice cold lips causing me to shudder, "Just like you."

"Like us Angel, like us." I grabbed my wallet and the tag from the tree and went to pay, as I passed the small boy and his mother I couldn't help but overhearing their conversation.

"Andrew sweetie, I know you love this one, but I just don't have the money. I'm sure the smaller ones are just as perfect," she sighed.

Edward tugged on my hand, I loved how he was thinking exactly thing as I was. After Andrew and his mother moved away from the tree to find the smaller ones at the back of the lot, Edward snatched the tag off the one the boy liked, and we paid for our tree as as well as the one Andrew had wanted.

"Excuse me."

Andrew and his mother turned to Edward and smiled,"Yes?"

Edward held his hand out, revealing the receipt to the tree. He had insisted we gave it to them, and well I'm not going to argue with my baby. Andrew's mother took the piece of paper from his hand, her face lighting up, two red spots appearing on the tips of her cheeks.

"I can't." Her voice was small, as she looked over his shoulder at me. I nodded walking forwards, wrapping my arm around my baby's waist.

"Please," I smiled, closing her hand around the receipt.

She swallowed, looking confused. "Why?"

Edward was the one who answered her. "What you did... what you said to your son... " I rubbed small circles on his back encouraging him to continue. "You have no idea how your words enriched his life, your tolerance will help him grow into an amazing human being," he sniffed. I pulled him into my arms and let him sob softly, until a different hand clasped his arm and released him from my embrace.

Andrew's mother embraced him like he was her own, and for a moment a mother was hugging a son, blood or not it didn't matter.

We said our goodbyes to the Parkers –Andrew and his mom Nessa then we climbed back into the car, with our perfect tree tied to the luggage rack.

We arrived at the reception just after four as the sun was beginning its descent behind the trees and mountains. The sight was breathtaking. I watched as Edward perched himself on the hood of the car taking in the sunset, the bags could wait I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to watch my first sunset with the man I loved.

"Room for one more." I nudged his leg, his hair almost on fire from the glow of the setting sun. He opened up his arms to me and I nestled against his chest. "There will always be room in my arms for you," he sighed and I felt his heart quicken as he kissed the top of my head.

"I love you so much," he whispered so softly his words took flight with the soft evening breeze.

Next chapter...Cabin fever hehehe. Two men, snowed in, and naked hmmmmm.


	23. Chapter 23

**Yes I love you so much you are getting another chapter so soon, Carlisle and Edwards Cabin fever will be broken down into days, so they are shorter chapters than usual.**

**I own nothing except the best Beta in the world Angela, 3 you babe x.**

**Day One..Cabin Fever!**

**EPOV**

As Carlisle led me through the one floor cabin nonchalantly showing me each room, I could tell his heart wasn't in it, his mind on one thing; getting us both naked and as soon as possible. I nodded and ooh'd and ahh'd in the right places, but I knew I wasn't fooling him either.

It was a beautiful place; solid pine, with a small living area in the centre, a kitchen-diner off the main room, two bedrooms, a bathroom, and an office, beautifully decorated in lush ochre's and deep reds. He excused himself for a moment, explaining that he was just going round the rear of the cabin to collect the firewood that he had asked to be delivered, leaving me day-dreaming about what was about to come.

"Mmm... I want you," he hummed against the thin material on my shoulder, making me jump; my mind unaware that he had returned.

My body fell against his, as I leaned my head on his shoulder to allow him better contact with my neck. He nipped and sucked on the soft skin and I felt myself rapidly harden,while Carlisle showed he was the epitome of self-control in every one of his movements. His skilled hands that were so used to taking care of others, were now taking care of me. They skimmed the waistband of my jeans before moving to my T shirt, deftly removing it with very little effort, and as he splayed his hands over my abdomen, I trembled under his touch.

"Are you cold Angel?"

Shaking my head, I turned in his arms sealing his mouth with mine, giving each other slow lascivious kisses,basking in the joy of unhurried actions, casually undressing one another, until we were finally left in just our boxers. Now, it was my turn to make him tremble, but he paused me, chuckling softly, "Wait, let me just set the fire." I nodded, sitting on the large, soft corner sofa watching him light the fire in the huge grate; the heat was instant and my body tingled. Taking in the sight of him before me -on his knees ass facing me- I squirmed. I knelt behind him, my fingers tracing his strong back and his skin quivered under my touch. Leaning my body over his, I pressed my erection between his cheeks and I was rewarded by a low moan, that only spurred me on more, so I continue nipping his skin from his shoulder down his body, until I reached the top of his boxers.

**CPOV**

"Oh god," I cried out. My body is buzzed with sexual energy, as Edward nipped at my rapidly heating skin. Balancing myself on one hand I tugged at the front of my boxers, freeing my engorged cock. I pumped it while he pushed my boxers down my thighs, and I felt like I could have came at any time.

"Keep pumping baby," I begged

From between my legs, he tugged on my balls, as he took a languid lick, his talented tongue against my entrance. Edward flicked the edge of his tongue and my hole fluttered, begging for more.

"Oh fuck!" I bucked my hips back, as he dipped into my hot, wet hole and it didn't take long before I was coming hard over my hand and Edward cupped his hand over mine catching my juices. My arms were trembling to stay up, and as Edward held me around my waist supporting me, I felt it; he'd smothered my hole with my juices, it was beyond hot, and in that moment all I wanted was to feel him inside me; skin on skin, with no barriers, but I was too scared to ask.

"Baby... " Edward hummed in my ear, " ...I want to fuck you just like this." He pushed the tip of his cock into me to enunciate his declaration.

"No barriers baby, just us; I want to feel every inch of me filling you." With all coherent thoughts gone all I could do was nod.

The fire was now blazing, throwing erotic shadows on the walls of the now dark room. I could feel every slick inch slide inside me. Edward hissed as he filled me completely. "Oh baby," he moaned, kissing my shoulder. He pulled back out leaving only the head of his cock inside of me, our laboured breathing set the pace of our love making. Slender fingers gripped my hips, as Edward lifted his leg, placing his foot flat on the floor. His new position had his cock brushing my sweet spot on each stroke. Arms trembling, I fell to my elbows, grasping my awakened erection with my free hand. I pumped it and he quickened his pace, as we chased our releases together. Quickly, Edward pulled out and began to pump himself fiercely, and moments later I felt the first spurts of his warm juices on my back.

The feeling of this brought on my own orgasm causing me to cry out. The intensity of our release was so great, it caused us to tumble, and we lay spooning on the floor as we came down from our high.

"Mmm... baby that was incredibly hot," Edward whispered in my ear, turning my skin like goose flesh.

"Let's get into the shower and I'll make us some food," he chuckled.

We showered together with no more than soft touches, that projected our love for one another. I sat in my soft robe and sleep pants in front of the fire watching as my Angel flitted around in the open kitchen area. He had purposely forgone the robe, as he made us a simple dish of pasta and pesto chicken. His young lithe body taunted my less than youthful one.

_Maybe I should join a gym_?

I smiled to myself; if anyone would have told me that by Christmas this year I would be in love with someone, I would have laughed in their faces, yet here we were, only a matter of months after meeting. I was surprised at how easily and totally I had fallen in love with him, but I supposed when it's meant to be, then it doesn't matter how long you have known someone. Edward was my soulmate, just the same my uncle Marcus had Paul.

"What's got you smiling over there?" Edward's voice carried over the crackle of the fire.

"I love you."

I shrugged because nothing else mattered, no euphemisms, or clever words would ever describe how I felt, and I was rewarded with a smile that could have lit up the room. Arranging the food on the coffee table in front of me, he placed a sweet kiss on the corner of my mouth.

"I love you too," he whispered.

We ate, chatted and laughed, until a red hue caught my eye.

_Sunrise?_

"The suns coming up," I exclaimed.

Standing, I held my hand out to Edward; we'd watched the sunset together and then made love together. Therefore, nothing seemed more right in this infinitesimal moment, than to watch the birth of a new day ...together.

**Sooooo how was Day One?**


End file.
